Yesterday was a beautiful day. There's something thrilling about spring creeping its' verdant way into the new year. The sun was shining, the temps were in the low 70's, and everything was peaceful and right in the world. A few of us ventured out to a park and enjoyed a great afternoon of playing bocce and croquet. These are gentlemen's games, but not necessarily the way we play them. I remember back in college, there was a sort of "free-for-all" viciousness that could erupt over a genteel game where one tosses balls. The idea of "full-contact psyche-outs" made the game much more entertaining. The amount of trash talk that occurs during one of these rounds is equal to that of any prison yard basketball pickup game. I, personally, revel in the cutthroat level of play that we enjoy. This is what camraderie is all about.
So, as the weather is making it more tempting to go outside and play, I am finding it a bit distracting to keep up with my little project here. Nevertheless, I am still making headway (and hoping for rainy days). I have finished all the "A's" and am now working steadfastly on the "B's" (in addition to some skipping around that I will ocassionally do). As I'm currently packing to go see my niece and nephew, I will dilly-dally no further and get on to the good stuff!
29.) ASH WEDNESDAY
A low-budget indie starring the doe-eyed Elijah Wood, and the jaded Edward Burns, this movie tells of brotherly devotion, and the moral conviction to hold family in the highest esteem. Wood's character, Sean Sullivan, is killed by a mob hit on Ash Wednesday in 1980. Three years later, he is being spotted walking around his old neighborhood in Hell's Kitchen. His older brother, Francis (Burns), is accosted by their mutual enemies wanting to know if Sean is really dead. We learn that this is truly the case as his death had been faked, and Sean has returned from hiding to collect his wife (Rosario Dawson), not knowing that she has been kindling an affair with his brother. This movie has all the makings of a great source of intrigue, however it falls short of being too interesting. It's tough to see Frodo as a real threat, or the man that Rosario Dawson would choose over the machismo-exuding Edward Burns. This movie also confirms my suspicions that no one takes Oliver Platt seriously. He struggles to fill the role of street-hardened gangster. As in most of his movies, he falls ridiculously short. Not a terrible movie. Good for a bad-weather distraction.
30.) ASSAULT ON PRECINCT 13
This movie has a very Die Hard feel to it. Maybe the snowy Detroit setting, the New Year's Eve party plans interupted plot, or the one-man versus his demons characterizations give this flick an "all-too-familiar" auld lang syne. Shot as a big-budget action epic, it seems that director was more interested in getting from gun fight to gun fight to pause to question (as his audience frequently does) why the hell is this happening in the first place? Laurence Fishburne is compelling as a ruthless, cop-killing, crime lord whose arrest is news item number 1. He, along with a few petty criminals, are headed for processing when a vicious blizzard causes their route to be detoured to the dilapidated Precinct 13 (scheduled for immediate closing). His presence brings on the threat of assassination by a group of para-military hitmen bent on keeping him out of prison, and dead to the world. Ethan Hawke is a fine actor when it comes to dramatic subtext, and tortured artist syndrome. Ethan Hawke is not an action star. His attempt at waxing heroic is way too distracting to bring the movie into the realm of being considered on par with the aforemention Die Hard franchise. It's a popcorn movie that needed a little extra salt and butter to be truly appetizing. Though, watching John Leguizamo take a bullet to the brain was, in some small way, very fulfilling to anyone who has been forced to watch his stand-up specials.
31.) THE ASTRONAUT'S WIFE
Should someone coerce you into watching this film, end your friendship with this person immediately. I am reminded of a great moment from This Is Spinal Tap when Rob Reiner is discussing some of the band's more cruel reviews. He quotes one for their Album Shark Sandwich as being only two words: "Shit Sandwich". I have taken this reference and used in my personal life to describe any book, movie, album, play, or whatnot that warrants a swift execution of thought. Suffice it to say, when I think of this confusing, trite, and utterly awkward attempt at Sci-Fi (featuring a Charlize Theron who doesn't get naked, and a Johnny Depp who has never heard a real Southern Accent in his life) the only thing that comes to mind is: "Shit Sandwich".
32.) ATTILA
Made by USA Pictures, this feature was originally aired on the USA Network back in 2000. This is supposed to be a sweeping epic telling the life story of the much-feared "Scourge of God", Attila the Hun. Instead, this is a half-hearted costume party where orgies consist of fully-clothed women doing the "Skinemax body rub" on each other, and Roman Soldiers dressed like they walked straight out of Caesar's Palace. If you can believe that this Attila (played by a Gerard Butler that would have been stomped by his own 300 character) could bring the Roman Empire to its' knees, then you can believe that Powers Boothe is a convincing actor outside of Tombstone. The action scenes are big, but when the camera goes in close, you can clearly seen men hitting their choreography in a precise fashion. This movie is history in the way that National Geographic is porn. Not to mention that it clocks in at 3 hours! Tim Curry, though, is fairly entertaining.
33.) THE AVIATOR
Seeing this title, I got a little excited that I was in for something akin to the highly entertaining Howard Hughes Bio-pic from a few years ago. Alas, this is no relative. This movie tells of the early days of the Airmail service, and the struggles that pilots had to endure in the days before radios, blackboxes, and air traffic control. Starring Christopher Reeve as the troubled pilot in charge of escorting the precocious Rosanna Arquette to her new home away from her own bespotted past, this film is hailed as "High-Flying Action and Heartwarming Romance". I would have believed that tagline if I had seen it underneath Superman. But, I saw neither of the two. Reeve and Arquette are passable in their performances, though both have done far superior work elsewhere. There was something a little sobering about seeing the tragic Reeve limping in a scene after being mauled by a wolf. Knowing where that actor's life would one day take him, I felt a little twinge of sadness for him. Overall, this would be good Hallmark fare. Not much else.
I now log-off this post with the happiness that seeing my family usually brings. I will carry my latest conversation with SVC as a source of pride as I journey north for the next few days. I hope the weather is nice, and I can one day expose my nephew to all sorts of cinematic corruption.
Thursday, March 25, 2010
Monday, March 22, 2010
Just Passing Cloud Eight
Some days are marked as great because of some monumental occurence. Others are designated as such because of recognition or realization. I'd say it was safe to call my weekend rather great due to the latter. I am very blessed to have a special lady friend. Suffice it to say, she is my best friend. I feel better about what's happening in my day-to-day after I've spoken with her. This weekend, we got to spend some real quality time in deep conversation. While nothing monumental occurred during our weekend (spent in separate states, mind you), I did come to some rather delightful conclusions about our relationship that make me feel pretty confident about where my life is going. Though, I almost blew it Saturday night, she is forgiving enough of my own stupidity to warrant keeping me around. For that, I am forever grateful.
I apologize for gushing, but I do feel that there is a comfortable outlet here for my musings. Though, I would suspect most of you are ready for me to move on to the movie reviews. Since I aim not to disappoint, I will dispense with revelling in my own good fortune, and now turn my attention to a fascinating assortment of gems.
24.) ANTIGONE: RITES OF PASSION
I guess I was bound to run into one of these "Art House Flicks" before too long. This feeble attempt at making something thoughtful and provoking is laughable. Seriously, this movie is terrible and has as much artistic credibility as QVC. Told through visual pictures with no dialogue, only voice-overs. At some points it would appear that the characters are performing choreographed movement. At all points this looks like it was done on a budget of Ramen Noodles and luke-warm 7-up. It looks like it was filmed on location at the nearest landfill (which is ironic since that would be the place where the finished product could join the careers of those responsible for making this). Based partially on the works of Sophocles, it would appear that this movie's main message is "if it works fine as it is, then drudge it through some half-ass pretensions and throw in some screeching soprano screams for a soundtrack and you're guaranteed to have a hit". No thank you.
25) APOLLO 13
I'm not sure why I waited so long to watch this. This was a great blockbuster, with a high entertainment value. It was fascinating to see how Ron Howard captured the true infancy of the American Space program. I suppose my generation takes these achievements for granted, but this film reminded me that scientific breakthroughs, oftentimes with the crudest of tools, are still noteworthy and should be applauded. I felt like I was a crewmember suffering through the coldness of space with Tom Hanks, Bill Paxton, and the ubiquitous Kevin Bacon. It is remarkable when a filmmaker can still draw tension and suspense from a story that is widely known. I'm sure this will find its' way back into the DVD player before too long.
26.) APT PUPIL
Back when I was a teacher, I used to spend part of the third quarter dealing specifically with the Holocaust. The reading list varied from year to year, but it always included Night by Elie Wiesel. In addition to reading, I would usually do a two-week film festival with the students. I would show whatever the latest documentaries were out, and usually wrap things up with Schindler's List and then Life is Beautiful so we could have a promise of hope for the future. After watching Apt Pupil, I kind of wish I was still teaching so I could expose my students to this chilling piece. Based on a short story by Stephen King (which is always good fodder), this movie deals with a young scholar who gets in over his head when he discovers a Nazi War Criminal living down the street. Ian McKellan is truly frightening as the horrific monster who's been emasculated by time. Brad Renfro's performance reminded me that he had a brilliant career potential before his life was cut short by unfortunate choices ending with the tragedy of a heroin overdose in 2008. I think Hollywood lost a bright talent that day.
27.) AROUND THE WORLD IN 80 DAYS
Occasionally I can forgive Disney for rendering a vibrant story impotent by dumbing it down for a "family-friendly" audience. This is not one of those times. There is nothing about this movie that doesn't scream as a blatant insult to its' audience. Jules Verne's novel figures no where in this telling of a mad scientist's attempt at circumnavigating the globe in a timely manner. Instead, this is nothing more than a star-vehicle for Jackie Chan and Steve Coogan. Granted, both stars are entertaining, and their unique personalities and gifts provide the only saving graces for this otherwise trite distraction. I won't spend much time on this one since the filmmakers obviously didn't. Though, there is one humorous moment when, during yet another chase scene, an old woman does a face plant right off a wall. It warranted an "L" that was almost "OL"
28.) ART SCHOOL CONFIDENTIAL
My college roommate was an art student. He was also one of the funniest persons I have ever known. He did have his quirks, though. I suppose if he reads this he'll point out the dark color of my kettle. Watching this movie reminded me the versatility of artists and their aim for "mystique". Art students aren't always as cool as they think they are (though in my real life case, he was pretty badass). This movie made me want to go out and encourage each of the "artists" to go get laid. There is something absurd, though, about the plot of a struggling artist's attempt to make his splash in the art world any way he can. It says a lot about the old adage "Art is in the eye of the beholder". In this case, I think I'll be holdin' a different movie. Granted, the scenes where the nude figure models showed up made the canvas a little more palettable.
I find myself staring a long week in the face. Yet, I feel, as I began this post, that I have a great source of inspiration. SVC, I can't wait to watch some more movies with you soon! Until then, the outlook is tolerable.
I apologize for gushing, but I do feel that there is a comfortable outlet here for my musings. Though, I would suspect most of you are ready for me to move on to the movie reviews. Since I aim not to disappoint, I will dispense with revelling in my own good fortune, and now turn my attention to a fascinating assortment of gems.
24.) ANTIGONE: RITES OF PASSION
I guess I was bound to run into one of these "Art House Flicks" before too long. This feeble attempt at making something thoughtful and provoking is laughable. Seriously, this movie is terrible and has as much artistic credibility as QVC. Told through visual pictures with no dialogue, only voice-overs. At some points it would appear that the characters are performing choreographed movement. At all points this looks like it was done on a budget of Ramen Noodles and luke-warm 7-up. It looks like it was filmed on location at the nearest landfill (which is ironic since that would be the place where the finished product could join the careers of those responsible for making this). Based partially on the works of Sophocles, it would appear that this movie's main message is "if it works fine as it is, then drudge it through some half-ass pretensions and throw in some screeching soprano screams for a soundtrack and you're guaranteed to have a hit". No thank you.
25) APOLLO 13
I'm not sure why I waited so long to watch this. This was a great blockbuster, with a high entertainment value. It was fascinating to see how Ron Howard captured the true infancy of the American Space program. I suppose my generation takes these achievements for granted, but this film reminded me that scientific breakthroughs, oftentimes with the crudest of tools, are still noteworthy and should be applauded. I felt like I was a crewmember suffering through the coldness of space with Tom Hanks, Bill Paxton, and the ubiquitous Kevin Bacon. It is remarkable when a filmmaker can still draw tension and suspense from a story that is widely known. I'm sure this will find its' way back into the DVD player before too long.
26.) APT PUPIL
Back when I was a teacher, I used to spend part of the third quarter dealing specifically with the Holocaust. The reading list varied from year to year, but it always included Night by Elie Wiesel. In addition to reading, I would usually do a two-week film festival with the students. I would show whatever the latest documentaries were out, and usually wrap things up with Schindler's List and then Life is Beautiful so we could have a promise of hope for the future. After watching Apt Pupil, I kind of wish I was still teaching so I could expose my students to this chilling piece. Based on a short story by Stephen King (which is always good fodder), this movie deals with a young scholar who gets in over his head when he discovers a Nazi War Criminal living down the street. Ian McKellan is truly frightening as the horrific monster who's been emasculated by time. Brad Renfro's performance reminded me that he had a brilliant career potential before his life was cut short by unfortunate choices ending with the tragedy of a heroin overdose in 2008. I think Hollywood lost a bright talent that day.
27.) AROUND THE WORLD IN 80 DAYS
Occasionally I can forgive Disney for rendering a vibrant story impotent by dumbing it down for a "family-friendly" audience. This is not one of those times. There is nothing about this movie that doesn't scream as a blatant insult to its' audience. Jules Verne's novel figures no where in this telling of a mad scientist's attempt at circumnavigating the globe in a timely manner. Instead, this is nothing more than a star-vehicle for Jackie Chan and Steve Coogan. Granted, both stars are entertaining, and their unique personalities and gifts provide the only saving graces for this otherwise trite distraction. I won't spend much time on this one since the filmmakers obviously didn't. Though, there is one humorous moment when, during yet another chase scene, an old woman does a face plant right off a wall. It warranted an "L" that was almost "OL"
28.) ART SCHOOL CONFIDENTIAL
My college roommate was an art student. He was also one of the funniest persons I have ever known. He did have his quirks, though. I suppose if he reads this he'll point out the dark color of my kettle. Watching this movie reminded me the versatility of artists and their aim for "mystique". Art students aren't always as cool as they think they are (though in my real life case, he was pretty badass). This movie made me want to go out and encourage each of the "artists" to go get laid. There is something absurd, though, about the plot of a struggling artist's attempt to make his splash in the art world any way he can. It says a lot about the old adage "Art is in the eye of the beholder". In this case, I think I'll be holdin' a different movie. Granted, the scenes where the nude figure models showed up made the canvas a little more palettable.
I find myself staring a long week in the face. Yet, I feel, as I began this post, that I have a great source of inspiration. SVC, I can't wait to watch some more movies with you soon! Until then, the outlook is tolerable.
Friday, March 19, 2010
Angels, Devils, and Bad Hygiene
Through the green haze provided by the colored hops of several pints of St. Paddie's Day Ale, I paused from digesting my corned beef and cabbage to attend my fourth funeral of 2010. I have seen some great men pass, so far this year. In the midst of all this, I've had plenty of time to contemplate my own mortality. Life is funny. Death is inevitable. Somewhere, in between, there are times to watch our fleeting, tentative, and shifting existence cry out for meaning. While this philosophical rambling has landed me many opportunities to realize the things for which I should be ever thankful. I have been blessed with an amazing, loving family. I got the chance to extend a warm embrace to my niece as she entered this world. I have found myself completely altering my definition of happiness as every conversation with SVC ends with me feeling better about myself and life in general. Though we live in different cities, the hopes of watching more movies with her is motivation enough to handle any situation I've yet encountered. I have good friends that take great care of me. I have theatre, who is always a loving and caring mistress. And, I have a massive movie collection to keep the idea of ennui out of business in my home.
19.) ANGEL HEART
Years ago, I remember watching an episode of E! Television's True Hollywood Story on The Cosby Show. This program alluded to a career choice that Lisa Bonet made in the early days of the show's existence that caused a rift between her and her onscreen father. I somehow missed the title of the film, but knew that it had some controversial subject matter that the Cos did not appreciate. I sat down, put in this disc and suddenly knew why Denise became a peripheral player after only a few seasons. This movie should have been utterly forgettable (despite boasting performances from Robert De Niro and Mickey Rourke) but for the soft-core scenes depicting a writhing and possessed Cosby kid. The plot is as convoluted as a Sarah Palin campaign speech. Mickey Rourke is private detective hired by an enigmatic De Niro (boasting some extra-creepy fingernails) to find a jazz crooner who has gone missing and owes a debt to the mole-man. Through plot twists that make as much sense as the previous sentence, our gumshoe tracks his singer to the depths of New Orleans' Voodoo country. Somehow, a bargain with the devil is revealed, and Mickey Rourke chews scenery like the starving actor he would one day become. C- for the movie B+ for seeing why Lennie Kravitz had so much fun in the early days of his career.
20.) ANGELS IN AMERICA Pts 1 & 2 (Millenium Approaches & Perestroika)
This epic, made-for-HBO marathon is breathtaking in both its scope and storytelling. The All-Star cast features some outstanding performances by Al Pacino, Meryl Streep, Emma Thompson, Ben Shenkman, Patrick Wilson, and Justin Kirke. However, what left me feeling utterly amazed was what Mary-Louise Parker and Jeffrey Wright were able to do to lift this film from the realm of "good adaptation" to "magnificent cinema". Taken from TonyKushner's two award-winning plays, this miniseries was originally going to go into this post as two separate parts. After much deliberation, I felt that doing that would have made as much sense as separating two acts of the same play. Clocking in at nearly six-hours, this is no easy watch. However, the story completely enveloped me and I found the time passing with much ease. I had read the plays for a drama course back in college. Unfortunately, I have never seen either one in production. After watching this movie, these plays just jumped up on the list of shows I want to produce before I die. Truly amazing! Each day is truly a gift. And this message couldn't have come at a better time in my life
21.)ANGELS WITH DIRTY FACES
This is a great classic featuring James Cagney, Humphrey Bogart, Ann Sheridan, and Pat O'Brien. Admittedly, I have seen parts of this movie over the years. Though, everytime I would stumble upon (usually late at night on TMC), I was only able to catch certain parts. I have been wanting to view the whole thing for some time now. This was remedied when I settled in with some popcorn, Sam Adams, and an hour and a half of great movie-making from Hollywood's heyday. Telling the story of two childhood friends who have taken disparate life-journeys, this film offers a great moral: there is good in all of us. Sure the dialogue is antiquated, and the plot takes a few leaps that require your disbelief to be suspended just a litte more, but this I thoroughly enjoyed this gem.
22.) ANGER MANAGEMENT
I almost skipped over this one because I had seen almost half 0f it when it first came out, and had no real desire to finish what had been started. Thankfully, I gave it another chance. For all intents and purposes, this is another trite Adam Sandler vehicle where he plays his man-child alter-ego right into the contrived world of zany situations that must have a lesson to be learned somewhere. The real comedy doesn't come from Sandler (though he does have a few grin-worthy moments), but from his co-star Jack Nicholson. There's something rewarding about seeing an actor who has intimidated and frightened you perform a role that is shameless. Watching Jack as the scheming psychologist who is assigned to help Sandler's character assuage his own brewing angst, is like watching De Niro in Meet the Parents: you're glad he had a great career before this film, because there's no way to respect him now. It was more entertaining than I anticipated. Probably won't warrant a repeat viewing.
23.) ANIMATRIX
Ok, so this is really just a collection of short films, but this disc was next on the shelve. And, I felt I would be betraying the spirit of this project if I started making justifications on what qualifies as a "movie". 9 animated shorts that fill in the gaps and flesh out the world of The Matrix films. I'm really not a fan of Anime, but I do respect it as an art form. Plus, they usually animate women with very little clothing. Some of these were better than others. The first four were written by the Wachowski brothers, so their relevance is clear and entertaining. Overall, I was glad these were only short films. The final installment, "Matriculated" is just terrible.
The real irony of this week's entries is that four of the six films include the word "angel" in their titles. Dealing with the ups and downs of life like I have had to do in the past few weeks, I can't help but feel the warmth of a few angels in my own life. At the risk of giving Hallmark a run for it's client-base, I will gush and say that I'm thankful for my own guardians of peace and love. "May flights of angels sing you to your rest".
19.) ANGEL HEART
Years ago, I remember watching an episode of E! Television's True Hollywood Story on The Cosby Show. This program alluded to a career choice that Lisa Bonet made in the early days of the show's existence that caused a rift between her and her onscreen father. I somehow missed the title of the film, but knew that it had some controversial subject matter that the Cos did not appreciate. I sat down, put in this disc and suddenly knew why Denise became a peripheral player after only a few seasons. This movie should have been utterly forgettable (despite boasting performances from Robert De Niro and Mickey Rourke) but for the soft-core scenes depicting a writhing and possessed Cosby kid. The plot is as convoluted as a Sarah Palin campaign speech. Mickey Rourke is private detective hired by an enigmatic De Niro (boasting some extra-creepy fingernails) to find a jazz crooner who has gone missing and owes a debt to the mole-man. Through plot twists that make as much sense as the previous sentence, our gumshoe tracks his singer to the depths of New Orleans' Voodoo country. Somehow, a bargain with the devil is revealed, and Mickey Rourke chews scenery like the starving actor he would one day become. C- for the movie B+ for seeing why Lennie Kravitz had so much fun in the early days of his career.
20.) ANGELS IN AMERICA Pts 1 & 2 (Millenium Approaches & Perestroika)
This epic, made-for-HBO marathon is breathtaking in both its scope and storytelling. The All-Star cast features some outstanding performances by Al Pacino, Meryl Streep, Emma Thompson, Ben Shenkman, Patrick Wilson, and Justin Kirke. However, what left me feeling utterly amazed was what Mary-Louise Parker and Jeffrey Wright were able to do to lift this film from the realm of "good adaptation" to "magnificent cinema". Taken from TonyKushner's two award-winning plays, this miniseries was originally going to go into this post as two separate parts. After much deliberation, I felt that doing that would have made as much sense as separating two acts of the same play. Clocking in at nearly six-hours, this is no easy watch. However, the story completely enveloped me and I found the time passing with much ease. I had read the plays for a drama course back in college. Unfortunately, I have never seen either one in production. After watching this movie, these plays just jumped up on the list of shows I want to produce before I die. Truly amazing! Each day is truly a gift. And this message couldn't have come at a better time in my life
21.)ANGELS WITH DIRTY FACES
This is a great classic featuring James Cagney, Humphrey Bogart, Ann Sheridan, and Pat O'Brien. Admittedly, I have seen parts of this movie over the years. Though, everytime I would stumble upon (usually late at night on TMC), I was only able to catch certain parts. I have been wanting to view the whole thing for some time now. This was remedied when I settled in with some popcorn, Sam Adams, and an hour and a half of great movie-making from Hollywood's heyday. Telling the story of two childhood friends who have taken disparate life-journeys, this film offers a great moral: there is good in all of us. Sure the dialogue is antiquated, and the plot takes a few leaps that require your disbelief to be suspended just a litte more, but this I thoroughly enjoyed this gem.
22.) ANGER MANAGEMENT
I almost skipped over this one because I had seen almost half 0f it when it first came out, and had no real desire to finish what had been started. Thankfully, I gave it another chance. For all intents and purposes, this is another trite Adam Sandler vehicle where he plays his man-child alter-ego right into the contrived world of zany situations that must have a lesson to be learned somewhere. The real comedy doesn't come from Sandler (though he does have a few grin-worthy moments), but from his co-star Jack Nicholson. There's something rewarding about seeing an actor who has intimidated and frightened you perform a role that is shameless. Watching Jack as the scheming psychologist who is assigned to help Sandler's character assuage his own brewing angst, is like watching De Niro in Meet the Parents: you're glad he had a great career before this film, because there's no way to respect him now. It was more entertaining than I anticipated. Probably won't warrant a repeat viewing.
23.) ANIMATRIX
Ok, so this is really just a collection of short films, but this disc was next on the shelve. And, I felt I would be betraying the spirit of this project if I started making justifications on what qualifies as a "movie". 9 animated shorts that fill in the gaps and flesh out the world of The Matrix films. I'm really not a fan of Anime, but I do respect it as an art form. Plus, they usually animate women with very little clothing. Some of these were better than others. The first four were written by the Wachowski brothers, so their relevance is clear and entertaining. Overall, I was glad these were only short films. The final installment, "Matriculated" is just terrible.
The real irony of this week's entries is that four of the six films include the word "angel" in their titles. Dealing with the ups and downs of life like I have had to do in the past few weeks, I can't help but feel the warmth of a few angels in my own life. At the risk of giving Hallmark a run for it's client-base, I will gush and say that I'm thankful for my own guardians of peace and love. "May flights of angels sing you to your rest".
Monday, March 15, 2010
Don't Put the Word "American" in Your Title if Your Movie Was Made in Canada.
Once again, I find myself thinking more about the weather than about world-changing events. I have to wonder if this is putting me closer to Shady Oaks than to beach filled with co-eds on a spring break journey to make jaegermeister's stock soar. Regardless, I can't help but contemplate on the beauty that was this weekend's picturesque climate. Beautiful blue skies, temperatures that were neither hot nor cold. It was something akin to what Goldilocks must look for in planning her vacation destination: just right.
Getting out and shaking off the wintry melancholy, I found that this preview of spring was just what I needed to feel reminded that, even the most bleak must end. Life is a cycle, and my chains are well-greased. Today's post will feature some more movie reviews (as I'm sticking to last week's promise of being more consistent with progress reports). I am currently filling my brain with so much minutiae of the hollywood sort that I'm not sure there'll be room for important details like the recipe for the world's greatest sandwich, or Sexy Viewing Companion's address (the former is safely tucked away in my pantry and the latter will never be forgotten on pain of death or detachment). That being said, I suppose I should make more room in the video respository by emptying out my thoughts on the next set of gems.
14.) THE AMATEURS
"The Dude Makes A Porno". What a familiar story. It would appear that if you should ever find yourself in dire financial straits, then the best way to bolster your withering bank account would be to make (or star in) an adult film. This incarnation is not really different from the likes of Zak and Miri Make a Porno or Barely Legal, except that we have a cast of fifty-somethings that are hoping this journey of self-discovery will include video footage of a nubile co-ed doing some discovery of her own self. Not a particularly bad film, it does feature some nice comic turns from Joe Pantoliano, William Fichtner, Ted Danson, and, of course, Jeff Bridges. Our man Lebowski is a down-on-his-luck divorced father. Wanting to prove that he is just as capable of providing for his pre-teen son as the boy's new stepfather, he enlists his friends (small-town folk who are known to join him on his schemes du jour) to make a porno, sell it, and reap the benefits of being a successful filmmaker. Easy? Well, not if you want a plot for this movie! The humor is somewhat contrived, and the sex scenes are a bit awkward (seeing Ted Danson's bare ass is enough to keep you away from solid foods for a week), but the movie does have heart. And that must count for something.
15.) AMERICAN CRIME
To be honest, I'm not really sure what this movie is about. This is one of the most slapdash attempts at storytelling since Hulk Hogan lost his championship because there was a fake referee. The plot (as far as I could gather) centered around employees at a local news station who were following the abductions and murders of women who were stalked before meeting their demise. The young reporter who is covering the story finds herself also being stalked prior to her own disappearance! A syndicated TV show entitled "American Crime" begins to follow this story as it has now developed into this odd little meta-world. The host of the show comes to this small town hoping to offer support, but finds that his methods are not appreciated. How it got there to the ending (SPOILER ALERT) where we find that the syndicated host is actually the killer is quite beyond me. The story is ludicrous, and everyone associated with it should be prepared to kiss their careers goodbye. Cary Elwes plays the host in the most non-sensical attempt at character idiosyncracies ever captured on celluloid. His British accent is attrociocious (and he's from ENGLAND!!) He sounds like he's auditioning for a low-budget Dickens remake. Cary, the next time your agent requests that you read for a film of this schlock, please do not answer "As you wish".
16.) AMERICAN CRUDE
Perhaps I was several tankards into a good (read terrible) box of wine, but this movie was utterly unwatchable. It started off as a morality tale told by an idiot (played with grace and smarm by Ron Livingston), but somehow rambled into a convoluted heist-caper-comedy-of-errors-crapfest of biblical proportions. Any movie featuring Rob Schneider as the dramatic foil is not starting off well. Michael Clarke Duncan and Jennifer Esposito should both rush to the nearest confessional and request a serious pennance for their ludicrous turn as lovers on the lam. Missi Pyle plays a transsexual, what else can I say?
17.) AMERICAN HISTORY X
I'm sure you're probably wondering how a sensitive intellectual like me has overlooked this movie for so long. It has been recommended for years, but I put it aside for reasons that now seem trite and petty. I owe a serious apology to everyone who ever told me that I should see this movie. I regret missing it, and I am now thankful that I have experienced what can only be described as "powerful". The message is there, but the fuzziness of an afterschool special is thankfully missing. Edward Norton gives the performance of a lifetime. I'm not going to ramble or gush on this one, but I will heavily encourage those of you looking for something potent to see to put this one in immediately.
18.) AMISTAD
This was a good movie. It had just enough of the hollywood gloss to give it the requisite scope, but there was a true honesty that this historical drama carried that really made it watchable. Based on historical events, this movie (another one that falls into that category of movies that I really should have seen prior to this experiment) tells the harrowing story of the Africans who rose up against their slave captors and fought for their own freedom and the trial that ensued. I was impressed. While Matthew McConaughey really should stick to the cupcake films he's best known for, he did an admirable job as the defending attorney. Djimon Honsou is always impressive as his figure commands your attention when he walks into frame. This one bears a resonance that was refreshing without being too quaint or self-serving. The montage of events that transpired from the Africans' enslavement all the way to their mutiny is nothing short of horrific, but moving. The best actors know how to tell a story with their eyes. Djimon Honsou spun hours of fables without saying a single word of English.
I am still promising to keep these posts up-to-date. I know I have reels to watch before I sleep, but I am feeling confident so far. I have just reached the "50" mark in viewing. 10% down. Much more to go. In the meantime, I think I will enjoy the clouds smiling at me as I take this show outside.
Cheers!
Getting out and shaking off the wintry melancholy, I found that this preview of spring was just what I needed to feel reminded that, even the most bleak must end. Life is a cycle, and my chains are well-greased. Today's post will feature some more movie reviews (as I'm sticking to last week's promise of being more consistent with progress reports). I am currently filling my brain with so much minutiae of the hollywood sort that I'm not sure there'll be room for important details like the recipe for the world's greatest sandwich, or Sexy Viewing Companion's address (the former is safely tucked away in my pantry and the latter will never be forgotten on pain of death or detachment). That being said, I suppose I should make more room in the video respository by emptying out my thoughts on the next set of gems.
14.) THE AMATEURS
"The Dude Makes A Porno". What a familiar story. It would appear that if you should ever find yourself in dire financial straits, then the best way to bolster your withering bank account would be to make (or star in) an adult film. This incarnation is not really different from the likes of Zak and Miri Make a Porno or Barely Legal, except that we have a cast of fifty-somethings that are hoping this journey of self-discovery will include video footage of a nubile co-ed doing some discovery of her own self. Not a particularly bad film, it does feature some nice comic turns from Joe Pantoliano, William Fichtner, Ted Danson, and, of course, Jeff Bridges. Our man Lebowski is a down-on-his-luck divorced father. Wanting to prove that he is just as capable of providing for his pre-teen son as the boy's new stepfather, he enlists his friends (small-town folk who are known to join him on his schemes du jour) to make a porno, sell it, and reap the benefits of being a successful filmmaker. Easy? Well, not if you want a plot for this movie! The humor is somewhat contrived, and the sex scenes are a bit awkward (seeing Ted Danson's bare ass is enough to keep you away from solid foods for a week), but the movie does have heart. And that must count for something.
15.) AMERICAN CRIME
To be honest, I'm not really sure what this movie is about. This is one of the most slapdash attempts at storytelling since Hulk Hogan lost his championship because there was a fake referee. The plot (as far as I could gather) centered around employees at a local news station who were following the abductions and murders of women who were stalked before meeting their demise. The young reporter who is covering the story finds herself also being stalked prior to her own disappearance! A syndicated TV show entitled "American Crime" begins to follow this story as it has now developed into this odd little meta-world. The host of the show comes to this small town hoping to offer support, but finds that his methods are not appreciated. How it got there to the ending (SPOILER ALERT) where we find that the syndicated host is actually the killer is quite beyond me. The story is ludicrous, and everyone associated with it should be prepared to kiss their careers goodbye. Cary Elwes plays the host in the most non-sensical attempt at character idiosyncracies ever captured on celluloid. His British accent is attrociocious (and he's from ENGLAND!!) He sounds like he's auditioning for a low-budget Dickens remake. Cary, the next time your agent requests that you read for a film of this schlock, please do not answer "As you wish".
16.) AMERICAN CRUDE
Perhaps I was several tankards into a good (read terrible) box of wine, but this movie was utterly unwatchable. It started off as a morality tale told by an idiot (played with grace and smarm by Ron Livingston), but somehow rambled into a convoluted heist-caper-comedy-of-errors-crapfest of biblical proportions. Any movie featuring Rob Schneider as the dramatic foil is not starting off well. Michael Clarke Duncan and Jennifer Esposito should both rush to the nearest confessional and request a serious pennance for their ludicrous turn as lovers on the lam. Missi Pyle plays a transsexual, what else can I say?
17.) AMERICAN HISTORY X
I'm sure you're probably wondering how a sensitive intellectual like me has overlooked this movie for so long. It has been recommended for years, but I put it aside for reasons that now seem trite and petty. I owe a serious apology to everyone who ever told me that I should see this movie. I regret missing it, and I am now thankful that I have experienced what can only be described as "powerful". The message is there, but the fuzziness of an afterschool special is thankfully missing. Edward Norton gives the performance of a lifetime. I'm not going to ramble or gush on this one, but I will heavily encourage those of you looking for something potent to see to put this one in immediately.
18.) AMISTAD
This was a good movie. It had just enough of the hollywood gloss to give it the requisite scope, but there was a true honesty that this historical drama carried that really made it watchable. Based on historical events, this movie (another one that falls into that category of movies that I really should have seen prior to this experiment) tells the harrowing story of the Africans who rose up against their slave captors and fought for their own freedom and the trial that ensued. I was impressed. While Matthew McConaughey really should stick to the cupcake films he's best known for, he did an admirable job as the defending attorney. Djimon Honsou is always impressive as his figure commands your attention when he walks into frame. This one bears a resonance that was refreshing without being too quaint or self-serving. The montage of events that transpired from the Africans' enslavement all the way to their mutiny is nothing short of horrific, but moving. The best actors know how to tell a story with their eyes. Djimon Honsou spun hours of fables without saying a single word of English.
I am still promising to keep these posts up-to-date. I know I have reels to watch before I sleep, but I am feeling confident so far. I have just reached the "50" mark in viewing. 10% down. Much more to go. In the meantime, I think I will enjoy the clouds smiling at me as I take this show outside.
Cheers!
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Just What Is Written in Those Envelopes Anyways?
By this time in the week, the aftermath of the Oscar ceremonies have settled down. Unused speeches and once-used glamour gowns are now cast aside as the winners and losers both answer the question of most cinematic importance: "What's next?". It seems that there is an inevitable cycle that exists in the world of the creative arts. Those that sit and revel in their past accomplishments flounder too much to be able to contribute too much for the future, while those who let the works of the past remain there are able to keep that driving force going with the momentum of a fat child at an ice cream bar. I do have to say that there were few surprises in the mostly tepid evening. Though I maintain my opinion that "The Hurt Locker" won solely on it's political and not artistic merit. Personally, I fell asleep twice while watching it. "Precious", on the other hand, had me riveted to the screen long after the movie was over.
My apologies for taking a week off. Last week marked my third funeral for 2010. Somber as this year has turned out thus far, I do find comfort and solace in the fact that there is still breath in my own lungs, and that neither disease nor hubris has managed to take me down...yet. I suppose it's sufficient to recognize that in spite of the travails this new decade has brought, there are still some mighty good perks. Sexy Viewing Companion is always a great source of good-feeling. Though she lives elsewhere now, I do look forward to having her share in some of the relentless movies that keep waging war on my DVD player.
So, speaking of movies, I suppose I should move on to the real matter at hand and get on to the reviews. Today's post gets us a little further into the "A"s and includes a few gems that have eluded me for a while.
9.) ALIEN NATION
James Caan will always and forever be Sonny Corleone, but there are moments when his gruff Irish-Italian exterior plays gently into the role of burdened everyman. I've seen this movie on shelves of video stores for years. My love/hate relationship with science fiction has managed to steer me away from picking this up, and opting for the next installment in the Police Academy series instead. Fortunately, this project finally afforded me the opportunity to face my apprehension and pop this one into the machine. I was glad I did. I kind of wish I had seen it years ago. It might have altered my experience of watching District 9. Here the aliens do speak English, and there's a more human quality to them. Mandy Patinkin is great as Caan's otherworldy partner. The latent themes of racial inequality, and tolerance are less than awkward, but enjoyment is still quite capable of occurring. Plus, Terrance Stamp shows up as an alien....that's not Zod. Go figure!
10.) ALL THE LITTLE ANIMALS
This indie from across the pond is fairly trite. It does bost some good star talent in the likes of Christian Bale and John Hurt. Here we have the tale of a young heir to a department store dynasty. His dear mother has died, and he's now at the hands of his wicked stepfather (a truly original concept, thank-you very much). There's only one problem, our protagonist just happens to have some sort of mental deficiency. We're never really sure just how mentally handicapped he is, though. Christian Bale seems to play him as somewhere between Rain Man, and an extra from One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest. Our simpleton decides to escape the abuse of his stepfather and journey out into the harsh cruel world of the verdant English countryside. Along the way, he meets an amateur conservationist and roadkill funeral director played by John Hurt. His mission is to see to it that all of God's little creatures should be afforded the dignity of a decent burial, even if they have become street pancakes. What makes all of this even more confusing is the fact that Bale's character also acts as voiceover narrator. You're never really sure just how much of this is put on, or not. I kept watching in the hopes that I would see some elements of Batman or John Connor surface, but my dreams were picked apart by the carrion that was this terrible waste of a good two hours.
11.) ALL THAT JAZZ
I have to admit that I am a fan of the American Musical (especially the ones written by Brits.) This auto-bio pic tells the somewhat fabricated story of Bob Fosse's alter-ego (played with exuberant pinache by Roy Scheider. The musical numbers are bright, splashy, daring, and a little sexy. This was one of those great movies that made me more conscious of my own artistic origins. I felt inspired by watching his tireless work ethic. And I felt that tug of warning as his excesses threatened to tear his world apart. Of all the movies that this project has presented me up to this point, this movie really made me sit up and take notice. There I was watching Chief Brody tackle a behemoth more deadly and vicious than any shark: the critics of a Broadway musical. Ann Reinking is brilliant as his on-again-off-again lover. This movie is one that will definitely find a repeat viewing in the near future. Having been a fan of Fosse's work, I especially enjoyed the personal reflections of his life that can be found in his movement. Plus, I am reminded as to why I started dancing in the first place: beautiful girls in tight, skimpy clothing. What could be more artistic than that?
12.) ALL THE KING'S MEN
I have spent a great deal of time with the novel upon which this film is based. Sean Penn is captivating as he portays a simple man caught up in the very corruption that he sought to fight by running for office in the first place. With an all-star cast featuring James Gandolfini, Jude Law, Anthony Hopkins, and Kate Winslet, this is a fairly impressive film adaptation of a book that has given me many a good naps. Having grown up in the South, I can see the progression that Penn's Willie Stark was fighting for. I grew up seeing the vestigial remnants of the Old South, the land of broken dreams. I remember being thankful that I wasn't born 60 years prior. This movie does have that inspirational message that rings out like a faulty accent. It's one that's easy to hear, but disconcerting to listen to.
13.) ALPHA DOG
Oh to live the tortured existence of a young wealthy disillusioned kid in the well-to-do suburbs of L.A. I was honestly expecting this to be movie that would cause me to reach for my glasses to correct my vision from too much eye-rolling. I was met with a film that was more fascinating than I expected. Detaching from a reality that allows these schmucks to fully exist, I was able to watch this movie and enjoy some pretty good performances. The most surprising turn came from Justin Timberlake. His drug dealing first lieutenant to Emile Hirsch's character was fierce, and sensitive. He was deceptively one-note until some real depth was required, and he showed up in full force. As always, Ben Foster came to play. He was frightening as the rival drug dealer who engages Hirsch's character in a full-on war that does not end well at all. While this movie could have easily been a petty attempt to make a Pulp Fiction for the teenie set, it ended up being of more substance and thought than I was initially going to give it credit.
I promise that I will have more reviews up soon. While my posting time has been limited, I can assure you that I have not been neglectful in my viewing duties. Pass the popcorn, this is going to be a long week!
My apologies for taking a week off. Last week marked my third funeral for 2010. Somber as this year has turned out thus far, I do find comfort and solace in the fact that there is still breath in my own lungs, and that neither disease nor hubris has managed to take me down...yet. I suppose it's sufficient to recognize that in spite of the travails this new decade has brought, there are still some mighty good perks. Sexy Viewing Companion is always a great source of good-feeling. Though she lives elsewhere now, I do look forward to having her share in some of the relentless movies that keep waging war on my DVD player.
So, speaking of movies, I suppose I should move on to the real matter at hand and get on to the reviews. Today's post gets us a little further into the "A"s and includes a few gems that have eluded me for a while.
9.) ALIEN NATION
James Caan will always and forever be Sonny Corleone, but there are moments when his gruff Irish-Italian exterior plays gently into the role of burdened everyman. I've seen this movie on shelves of video stores for years. My love/hate relationship with science fiction has managed to steer me away from picking this up, and opting for the next installment in the Police Academy series instead. Fortunately, this project finally afforded me the opportunity to face my apprehension and pop this one into the machine. I was glad I did. I kind of wish I had seen it years ago. It might have altered my experience of watching District 9. Here the aliens do speak English, and there's a more human quality to them. Mandy Patinkin is great as Caan's otherworldy partner. The latent themes of racial inequality, and tolerance are less than awkward, but enjoyment is still quite capable of occurring. Plus, Terrance Stamp shows up as an alien....that's not Zod. Go figure!
10.) ALL THE LITTLE ANIMALS
This indie from across the pond is fairly trite. It does bost some good star talent in the likes of Christian Bale and John Hurt. Here we have the tale of a young heir to a department store dynasty. His dear mother has died, and he's now at the hands of his wicked stepfather (a truly original concept, thank-you very much). There's only one problem, our protagonist just happens to have some sort of mental deficiency. We're never really sure just how mentally handicapped he is, though. Christian Bale seems to play him as somewhere between Rain Man, and an extra from One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest. Our simpleton decides to escape the abuse of his stepfather and journey out into the harsh cruel world of the verdant English countryside. Along the way, he meets an amateur conservationist and roadkill funeral director played by John Hurt. His mission is to see to it that all of God's little creatures should be afforded the dignity of a decent burial, even if they have become street pancakes. What makes all of this even more confusing is the fact that Bale's character also acts as voiceover narrator. You're never really sure just how much of this is put on, or not. I kept watching in the hopes that I would see some elements of Batman or John Connor surface, but my dreams were picked apart by the carrion that was this terrible waste of a good two hours.
11.) ALL THAT JAZZ
I have to admit that I am a fan of the American Musical (especially the ones written by Brits.) This auto-bio pic tells the somewhat fabricated story of Bob Fosse's alter-ego (played with exuberant pinache by Roy Scheider. The musical numbers are bright, splashy, daring, and a little sexy. This was one of those great movies that made me more conscious of my own artistic origins. I felt inspired by watching his tireless work ethic. And I felt that tug of warning as his excesses threatened to tear his world apart. Of all the movies that this project has presented me up to this point, this movie really made me sit up and take notice. There I was watching Chief Brody tackle a behemoth more deadly and vicious than any shark: the critics of a Broadway musical. Ann Reinking is brilliant as his on-again-off-again lover. This movie is one that will definitely find a repeat viewing in the near future. Having been a fan of Fosse's work, I especially enjoyed the personal reflections of his life that can be found in his movement. Plus, I am reminded as to why I started dancing in the first place: beautiful girls in tight, skimpy clothing. What could be more artistic than that?
12.) ALL THE KING'S MEN
I have spent a great deal of time with the novel upon which this film is based. Sean Penn is captivating as he portays a simple man caught up in the very corruption that he sought to fight by running for office in the first place. With an all-star cast featuring James Gandolfini, Jude Law, Anthony Hopkins, and Kate Winslet, this is a fairly impressive film adaptation of a book that has given me many a good naps. Having grown up in the South, I can see the progression that Penn's Willie Stark was fighting for. I grew up seeing the vestigial remnants of the Old South, the land of broken dreams. I remember being thankful that I wasn't born 60 years prior. This movie does have that inspirational message that rings out like a faulty accent. It's one that's easy to hear, but disconcerting to listen to.
13.) ALPHA DOG
Oh to live the tortured existence of a young wealthy disillusioned kid in the well-to-do suburbs of L.A. I was honestly expecting this to be movie that would cause me to reach for my glasses to correct my vision from too much eye-rolling. I was met with a film that was more fascinating than I expected. Detaching from a reality that allows these schmucks to fully exist, I was able to watch this movie and enjoy some pretty good performances. The most surprising turn came from Justin Timberlake. His drug dealing first lieutenant to Emile Hirsch's character was fierce, and sensitive. He was deceptively one-note until some real depth was required, and he showed up in full force. As always, Ben Foster came to play. He was frightening as the rival drug dealer who engages Hirsch's character in a full-on war that does not end well at all. While this movie could have easily been a petty attempt to make a Pulp Fiction for the teenie set, it ended up being of more substance and thought than I was initially going to give it credit.
I promise that I will have more reviews up soon. While my posting time has been limited, I can assure you that I have not been neglectful in my viewing duties. Pass the popcorn, this is going to be a long week!
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