Some days are marked as great because of some monumental occurence. Others are designated as such because of recognition or realization. I'd say it was safe to call my weekend rather great due to the latter. I am very blessed to have a special lady friend. Suffice it to say, she is my best friend. I feel better about what's happening in my day-to-day after I've spoken with her. This weekend, we got to spend some real quality time in deep conversation. While nothing monumental occurred during our weekend (spent in separate states, mind you), I did come to some rather delightful conclusions about our relationship that make me feel pretty confident about where my life is going. Though, I almost blew it Saturday night, she is forgiving enough of my own stupidity to warrant keeping me around. For that, I am forever grateful.
I apologize for gushing, but I do feel that there is a comfortable outlet here for my musings. Though, I would suspect most of you are ready for me to move on to the movie reviews. Since I aim not to disappoint, I will dispense with revelling in my own good fortune, and now turn my attention to a fascinating assortment of gems.
24.) ANTIGONE: RITES OF PASSION
I guess I was bound to run into one of these "Art House Flicks" before too long. This feeble attempt at making something thoughtful and provoking is laughable. Seriously, this movie is terrible and has as much artistic credibility as QVC. Told through visual pictures with no dialogue, only voice-overs. At some points it would appear that the characters are performing choreographed movement. At all points this looks like it was done on a budget of Ramen Noodles and luke-warm 7-up. It looks like it was filmed on location at the nearest landfill (which is ironic since that would be the place where the finished product could join the careers of those responsible for making this). Based partially on the works of Sophocles, it would appear that this movie's main message is "if it works fine as it is, then drudge it through some half-ass pretensions and throw in some screeching soprano screams for a soundtrack and you're guaranteed to have a hit". No thank you.
25) APOLLO 13
I'm not sure why I waited so long to watch this. This was a great blockbuster, with a high entertainment value. It was fascinating to see how Ron Howard captured the true infancy of the American Space program. I suppose my generation takes these achievements for granted, but this film reminded me that scientific breakthroughs, oftentimes with the crudest of tools, are still noteworthy and should be applauded. I felt like I was a crewmember suffering through the coldness of space with Tom Hanks, Bill Paxton, and the ubiquitous Kevin Bacon. It is remarkable when a filmmaker can still draw tension and suspense from a story that is widely known. I'm sure this will find its' way back into the DVD player before too long.
26.) APT PUPIL
Back when I was a teacher, I used to spend part of the third quarter dealing specifically with the Holocaust. The reading list varied from year to year, but it always included Night by Elie Wiesel. In addition to reading, I would usually do a two-week film festival with the students. I would show whatever the latest documentaries were out, and usually wrap things up with Schindler's List and then Life is Beautiful so we could have a promise of hope for the future. After watching Apt Pupil, I kind of wish I was still teaching so I could expose my students to this chilling piece. Based on a short story by Stephen King (which is always good fodder), this movie deals with a young scholar who gets in over his head when he discovers a Nazi War Criminal living down the street. Ian McKellan is truly frightening as the horrific monster who's been emasculated by time. Brad Renfro's performance reminded me that he had a brilliant career potential before his life was cut short by unfortunate choices ending with the tragedy of a heroin overdose in 2008. I think Hollywood lost a bright talent that day.
27.) AROUND THE WORLD IN 80 DAYS
Occasionally I can forgive Disney for rendering a vibrant story impotent by dumbing it down for a "family-friendly" audience. This is not one of those times. There is nothing about this movie that doesn't scream as a blatant insult to its' audience. Jules Verne's novel figures no where in this telling of a mad scientist's attempt at circumnavigating the globe in a timely manner. Instead, this is nothing more than a star-vehicle for Jackie Chan and Steve Coogan. Granted, both stars are entertaining, and their unique personalities and gifts provide the only saving graces for this otherwise trite distraction. I won't spend much time on this one since the filmmakers obviously didn't. Though, there is one humorous moment when, during yet another chase scene, an old woman does a face plant right off a wall. It warranted an "L" that was almost "OL"
28.) ART SCHOOL CONFIDENTIAL
My college roommate was an art student. He was also one of the funniest persons I have ever known. He did have his quirks, though. I suppose if he reads this he'll point out the dark color of my kettle. Watching this movie reminded me the versatility of artists and their aim for "mystique". Art students aren't always as cool as they think they are (though in my real life case, he was pretty badass). This movie made me want to go out and encourage each of the "artists" to go get laid. There is something absurd, though, about the plot of a struggling artist's attempt to make his splash in the art world any way he can. It says a lot about the old adage "Art is in the eye of the beholder". In this case, I think I'll be holdin' a different movie. Granted, the scenes where the nude figure models showed up made the canvas a little more palettable.
I find myself staring a long week in the face. Yet, I feel, as I began this post, that I have a great source of inspiration. SVC, I can't wait to watch some more movies with you soon! Until then, the outlook is tolerable.
Monday, March 22, 2010
Friday, March 19, 2010
Angels, Devils, and Bad Hygiene
Through the green haze provided by the colored hops of several pints of St. Paddie's Day Ale, I paused from digesting my corned beef and cabbage to attend my fourth funeral of 2010. I have seen some great men pass, so far this year. In the midst of all this, I've had plenty of time to contemplate my own mortality. Life is funny. Death is inevitable. Somewhere, in between, there are times to watch our fleeting, tentative, and shifting existence cry out for meaning. While this philosophical rambling has landed me many opportunities to realize the things for which I should be ever thankful. I have been blessed with an amazing, loving family. I got the chance to extend a warm embrace to my niece as she entered this world. I have found myself completely altering my definition of happiness as every conversation with SVC ends with me feeling better about myself and life in general. Though we live in different cities, the hopes of watching more movies with her is motivation enough to handle any situation I've yet encountered. I have good friends that take great care of me. I have theatre, who is always a loving and caring mistress. And, I have a massive movie collection to keep the idea of ennui out of business in my home.
19.) ANGEL HEART
Years ago, I remember watching an episode of E! Television's True Hollywood Story on The Cosby Show. This program alluded to a career choice that Lisa Bonet made in the early days of the show's existence that caused a rift between her and her onscreen father. I somehow missed the title of the film, but knew that it had some controversial subject matter that the Cos did not appreciate. I sat down, put in this disc and suddenly knew why Denise became a peripheral player after only a few seasons. This movie should have been utterly forgettable (despite boasting performances from Robert De Niro and Mickey Rourke) but for the soft-core scenes depicting a writhing and possessed Cosby kid. The plot is as convoluted as a Sarah Palin campaign speech. Mickey Rourke is private detective hired by an enigmatic De Niro (boasting some extra-creepy fingernails) to find a jazz crooner who has gone missing and owes a debt to the mole-man. Through plot twists that make as much sense as the previous sentence, our gumshoe tracks his singer to the depths of New Orleans' Voodoo country. Somehow, a bargain with the devil is revealed, and Mickey Rourke chews scenery like the starving actor he would one day become. C- for the movie B+ for seeing why Lennie Kravitz had so much fun in the early days of his career.
20.) ANGELS IN AMERICA Pts 1 & 2 (Millenium Approaches & Perestroika)
This epic, made-for-HBO marathon is breathtaking in both its scope and storytelling. The All-Star cast features some outstanding performances by Al Pacino, Meryl Streep, Emma Thompson, Ben Shenkman, Patrick Wilson, and Justin Kirke. However, what left me feeling utterly amazed was what Mary-Louise Parker and Jeffrey Wright were able to do to lift this film from the realm of "good adaptation" to "magnificent cinema". Taken from TonyKushner's two award-winning plays, this miniseries was originally going to go into this post as two separate parts. After much deliberation, I felt that doing that would have made as much sense as separating two acts of the same play. Clocking in at nearly six-hours, this is no easy watch. However, the story completely enveloped me and I found the time passing with much ease. I had read the plays for a drama course back in college. Unfortunately, I have never seen either one in production. After watching this movie, these plays just jumped up on the list of shows I want to produce before I die. Truly amazing! Each day is truly a gift. And this message couldn't have come at a better time in my life
21.)ANGELS WITH DIRTY FACES
This is a great classic featuring James Cagney, Humphrey Bogart, Ann Sheridan, and Pat O'Brien. Admittedly, I have seen parts of this movie over the years. Though, everytime I would stumble upon (usually late at night on TMC), I was only able to catch certain parts. I have been wanting to view the whole thing for some time now. This was remedied when I settled in with some popcorn, Sam Adams, and an hour and a half of great movie-making from Hollywood's heyday. Telling the story of two childhood friends who have taken disparate life-journeys, this film offers a great moral: there is good in all of us. Sure the dialogue is antiquated, and the plot takes a few leaps that require your disbelief to be suspended just a litte more, but this I thoroughly enjoyed this gem.
22.) ANGER MANAGEMENT
I almost skipped over this one because I had seen almost half 0f it when it first came out, and had no real desire to finish what had been started. Thankfully, I gave it another chance. For all intents and purposes, this is another trite Adam Sandler vehicle where he plays his man-child alter-ego right into the contrived world of zany situations that must have a lesson to be learned somewhere. The real comedy doesn't come from Sandler (though he does have a few grin-worthy moments), but from his co-star Jack Nicholson. There's something rewarding about seeing an actor who has intimidated and frightened you perform a role that is shameless. Watching Jack as the scheming psychologist who is assigned to help Sandler's character assuage his own brewing angst, is like watching De Niro in Meet the Parents: you're glad he had a great career before this film, because there's no way to respect him now. It was more entertaining than I anticipated. Probably won't warrant a repeat viewing.
23.) ANIMATRIX
Ok, so this is really just a collection of short films, but this disc was next on the shelve. And, I felt I would be betraying the spirit of this project if I started making justifications on what qualifies as a "movie". 9 animated shorts that fill in the gaps and flesh out the world of The Matrix films. I'm really not a fan of Anime, but I do respect it as an art form. Plus, they usually animate women with very little clothing. Some of these were better than others. The first four were written by the Wachowski brothers, so their relevance is clear and entertaining. Overall, I was glad these were only short films. The final installment, "Matriculated" is just terrible.
The real irony of this week's entries is that four of the six films include the word "angel" in their titles. Dealing with the ups and downs of life like I have had to do in the past few weeks, I can't help but feel the warmth of a few angels in my own life. At the risk of giving Hallmark a run for it's client-base, I will gush and say that I'm thankful for my own guardians of peace and love. "May flights of angels sing you to your rest".
19.) ANGEL HEART
Years ago, I remember watching an episode of E! Television's True Hollywood Story on The Cosby Show. This program alluded to a career choice that Lisa Bonet made in the early days of the show's existence that caused a rift between her and her onscreen father. I somehow missed the title of the film, but knew that it had some controversial subject matter that the Cos did not appreciate. I sat down, put in this disc and suddenly knew why Denise became a peripheral player after only a few seasons. This movie should have been utterly forgettable (despite boasting performances from Robert De Niro and Mickey Rourke) but for the soft-core scenes depicting a writhing and possessed Cosby kid. The plot is as convoluted as a Sarah Palin campaign speech. Mickey Rourke is private detective hired by an enigmatic De Niro (boasting some extra-creepy fingernails) to find a jazz crooner who has gone missing and owes a debt to the mole-man. Through plot twists that make as much sense as the previous sentence, our gumshoe tracks his singer to the depths of New Orleans' Voodoo country. Somehow, a bargain with the devil is revealed, and Mickey Rourke chews scenery like the starving actor he would one day become. C- for the movie B+ for seeing why Lennie Kravitz had so much fun in the early days of his career.
20.) ANGELS IN AMERICA Pts 1 & 2 (Millenium Approaches & Perestroika)
This epic, made-for-HBO marathon is breathtaking in both its scope and storytelling. The All-Star cast features some outstanding performances by Al Pacino, Meryl Streep, Emma Thompson, Ben Shenkman, Patrick Wilson, and Justin Kirke. However, what left me feeling utterly amazed was what Mary-Louise Parker and Jeffrey Wright were able to do to lift this film from the realm of "good adaptation" to "magnificent cinema". Taken from TonyKushner's two award-winning plays, this miniseries was originally going to go into this post as two separate parts. After much deliberation, I felt that doing that would have made as much sense as separating two acts of the same play. Clocking in at nearly six-hours, this is no easy watch. However, the story completely enveloped me and I found the time passing with much ease. I had read the plays for a drama course back in college. Unfortunately, I have never seen either one in production. After watching this movie, these plays just jumped up on the list of shows I want to produce before I die. Truly amazing! Each day is truly a gift. And this message couldn't have come at a better time in my life
21.)ANGELS WITH DIRTY FACES
This is a great classic featuring James Cagney, Humphrey Bogart, Ann Sheridan, and Pat O'Brien. Admittedly, I have seen parts of this movie over the years. Though, everytime I would stumble upon (usually late at night on TMC), I was only able to catch certain parts. I have been wanting to view the whole thing for some time now. This was remedied when I settled in with some popcorn, Sam Adams, and an hour and a half of great movie-making from Hollywood's heyday. Telling the story of two childhood friends who have taken disparate life-journeys, this film offers a great moral: there is good in all of us. Sure the dialogue is antiquated, and the plot takes a few leaps that require your disbelief to be suspended just a litte more, but this I thoroughly enjoyed this gem.
22.) ANGER MANAGEMENT
I almost skipped over this one because I had seen almost half 0f it when it first came out, and had no real desire to finish what had been started. Thankfully, I gave it another chance. For all intents and purposes, this is another trite Adam Sandler vehicle where he plays his man-child alter-ego right into the contrived world of zany situations that must have a lesson to be learned somewhere. The real comedy doesn't come from Sandler (though he does have a few grin-worthy moments), but from his co-star Jack Nicholson. There's something rewarding about seeing an actor who has intimidated and frightened you perform a role that is shameless. Watching Jack as the scheming psychologist who is assigned to help Sandler's character assuage his own brewing angst, is like watching De Niro in Meet the Parents: you're glad he had a great career before this film, because there's no way to respect him now. It was more entertaining than I anticipated. Probably won't warrant a repeat viewing.
23.) ANIMATRIX
Ok, so this is really just a collection of short films, but this disc was next on the shelve. And, I felt I would be betraying the spirit of this project if I started making justifications on what qualifies as a "movie". 9 animated shorts that fill in the gaps and flesh out the world of The Matrix films. I'm really not a fan of Anime, but I do respect it as an art form. Plus, they usually animate women with very little clothing. Some of these were better than others. The first four were written by the Wachowski brothers, so their relevance is clear and entertaining. Overall, I was glad these were only short films. The final installment, "Matriculated" is just terrible.
The real irony of this week's entries is that four of the six films include the word "angel" in their titles. Dealing with the ups and downs of life like I have had to do in the past few weeks, I can't help but feel the warmth of a few angels in my own life. At the risk of giving Hallmark a run for it's client-base, I will gush and say that I'm thankful for my own guardians of peace and love. "May flights of angels sing you to your rest".
Monday, March 15, 2010
Don't Put the Word "American" in Your Title if Your Movie Was Made in Canada.
Once again, I find myself thinking more about the weather than about world-changing events. I have to wonder if this is putting me closer to Shady Oaks than to beach filled with co-eds on a spring break journey to make jaegermeister's stock soar. Regardless, I can't help but contemplate on the beauty that was this weekend's picturesque climate. Beautiful blue skies, temperatures that were neither hot nor cold. It was something akin to what Goldilocks must look for in planning her vacation destination: just right.
Getting out and shaking off the wintry melancholy, I found that this preview of spring was just what I needed to feel reminded that, even the most bleak must end. Life is a cycle, and my chains are well-greased. Today's post will feature some more movie reviews (as I'm sticking to last week's promise of being more consistent with progress reports). I am currently filling my brain with so much minutiae of the hollywood sort that I'm not sure there'll be room for important details like the recipe for the world's greatest sandwich, or Sexy Viewing Companion's address (the former is safely tucked away in my pantry and the latter will never be forgotten on pain of death or detachment). That being said, I suppose I should make more room in the video respository by emptying out my thoughts on the next set of gems.
14.) THE AMATEURS
"The Dude Makes A Porno". What a familiar story. It would appear that if you should ever find yourself in dire financial straits, then the best way to bolster your withering bank account would be to make (or star in) an adult film. This incarnation is not really different from the likes of Zak and Miri Make a Porno or Barely Legal, except that we have a cast of fifty-somethings that are hoping this journey of self-discovery will include video footage of a nubile co-ed doing some discovery of her own self. Not a particularly bad film, it does feature some nice comic turns from Joe Pantoliano, William Fichtner, Ted Danson, and, of course, Jeff Bridges. Our man Lebowski is a down-on-his-luck divorced father. Wanting to prove that he is just as capable of providing for his pre-teen son as the boy's new stepfather, he enlists his friends (small-town folk who are known to join him on his schemes du jour) to make a porno, sell it, and reap the benefits of being a successful filmmaker. Easy? Well, not if you want a plot for this movie! The humor is somewhat contrived, and the sex scenes are a bit awkward (seeing Ted Danson's bare ass is enough to keep you away from solid foods for a week), but the movie does have heart. And that must count for something.
15.) AMERICAN CRIME
To be honest, I'm not really sure what this movie is about. This is one of the most slapdash attempts at storytelling since Hulk Hogan lost his championship because there was a fake referee. The plot (as far as I could gather) centered around employees at a local news station who were following the abductions and murders of women who were stalked before meeting their demise. The young reporter who is covering the story finds herself also being stalked prior to her own disappearance! A syndicated TV show entitled "American Crime" begins to follow this story as it has now developed into this odd little meta-world. The host of the show comes to this small town hoping to offer support, but finds that his methods are not appreciated. How it got there to the ending (SPOILER ALERT) where we find that the syndicated host is actually the killer is quite beyond me. The story is ludicrous, and everyone associated with it should be prepared to kiss their careers goodbye. Cary Elwes plays the host in the most non-sensical attempt at character idiosyncracies ever captured on celluloid. His British accent is attrociocious (and he's from ENGLAND!!) He sounds like he's auditioning for a low-budget Dickens remake. Cary, the next time your agent requests that you read for a film of this schlock, please do not answer "As you wish".
16.) AMERICAN CRUDE
Perhaps I was several tankards into a good (read terrible) box of wine, but this movie was utterly unwatchable. It started off as a morality tale told by an idiot (played with grace and smarm by Ron Livingston), but somehow rambled into a convoluted heist-caper-comedy-of-errors-crapfest of biblical proportions. Any movie featuring Rob Schneider as the dramatic foil is not starting off well. Michael Clarke Duncan and Jennifer Esposito should both rush to the nearest confessional and request a serious pennance for their ludicrous turn as lovers on the lam. Missi Pyle plays a transsexual, what else can I say?
17.) AMERICAN HISTORY X
I'm sure you're probably wondering how a sensitive intellectual like me has overlooked this movie for so long. It has been recommended for years, but I put it aside for reasons that now seem trite and petty. I owe a serious apology to everyone who ever told me that I should see this movie. I regret missing it, and I am now thankful that I have experienced what can only be described as "powerful". The message is there, but the fuzziness of an afterschool special is thankfully missing. Edward Norton gives the performance of a lifetime. I'm not going to ramble or gush on this one, but I will heavily encourage those of you looking for something potent to see to put this one in immediately.
18.) AMISTAD
This was a good movie. It had just enough of the hollywood gloss to give it the requisite scope, but there was a true honesty that this historical drama carried that really made it watchable. Based on historical events, this movie (another one that falls into that category of movies that I really should have seen prior to this experiment) tells the harrowing story of the Africans who rose up against their slave captors and fought for their own freedom and the trial that ensued. I was impressed. While Matthew McConaughey really should stick to the cupcake films he's best known for, he did an admirable job as the defending attorney. Djimon Honsou is always impressive as his figure commands your attention when he walks into frame. This one bears a resonance that was refreshing without being too quaint or self-serving. The montage of events that transpired from the Africans' enslavement all the way to their mutiny is nothing short of horrific, but moving. The best actors know how to tell a story with their eyes. Djimon Honsou spun hours of fables without saying a single word of English.
I am still promising to keep these posts up-to-date. I know I have reels to watch before I sleep, but I am feeling confident so far. I have just reached the "50" mark in viewing. 10% down. Much more to go. In the meantime, I think I will enjoy the clouds smiling at me as I take this show outside.
Cheers!
Getting out and shaking off the wintry melancholy, I found that this preview of spring was just what I needed to feel reminded that, even the most bleak must end. Life is a cycle, and my chains are well-greased. Today's post will feature some more movie reviews (as I'm sticking to last week's promise of being more consistent with progress reports). I am currently filling my brain with so much minutiae of the hollywood sort that I'm not sure there'll be room for important details like the recipe for the world's greatest sandwich, or Sexy Viewing Companion's address (the former is safely tucked away in my pantry and the latter will never be forgotten on pain of death or detachment). That being said, I suppose I should make more room in the video respository by emptying out my thoughts on the next set of gems.
14.) THE AMATEURS
"The Dude Makes A Porno". What a familiar story. It would appear that if you should ever find yourself in dire financial straits, then the best way to bolster your withering bank account would be to make (or star in) an adult film. This incarnation is not really different from the likes of Zak and Miri Make a Porno or Barely Legal, except that we have a cast of fifty-somethings that are hoping this journey of self-discovery will include video footage of a nubile co-ed doing some discovery of her own self. Not a particularly bad film, it does feature some nice comic turns from Joe Pantoliano, William Fichtner, Ted Danson, and, of course, Jeff Bridges. Our man Lebowski is a down-on-his-luck divorced father. Wanting to prove that he is just as capable of providing for his pre-teen son as the boy's new stepfather, he enlists his friends (small-town folk who are known to join him on his schemes du jour) to make a porno, sell it, and reap the benefits of being a successful filmmaker. Easy? Well, not if you want a plot for this movie! The humor is somewhat contrived, and the sex scenes are a bit awkward (seeing Ted Danson's bare ass is enough to keep you away from solid foods for a week), but the movie does have heart. And that must count for something.
15.) AMERICAN CRIME
To be honest, I'm not really sure what this movie is about. This is one of the most slapdash attempts at storytelling since Hulk Hogan lost his championship because there was a fake referee. The plot (as far as I could gather) centered around employees at a local news station who were following the abductions and murders of women who were stalked before meeting their demise. The young reporter who is covering the story finds herself also being stalked prior to her own disappearance! A syndicated TV show entitled "American Crime" begins to follow this story as it has now developed into this odd little meta-world. The host of the show comes to this small town hoping to offer support, but finds that his methods are not appreciated. How it got there to the ending (SPOILER ALERT) where we find that the syndicated host is actually the killer is quite beyond me. The story is ludicrous, and everyone associated with it should be prepared to kiss their careers goodbye. Cary Elwes plays the host in the most non-sensical attempt at character idiosyncracies ever captured on celluloid. His British accent is attrociocious (and he's from ENGLAND!!) He sounds like he's auditioning for a low-budget Dickens remake. Cary, the next time your agent requests that you read for a film of this schlock, please do not answer "As you wish".
16.) AMERICAN CRUDE
Perhaps I was several tankards into a good (read terrible) box of wine, but this movie was utterly unwatchable. It started off as a morality tale told by an idiot (played with grace and smarm by Ron Livingston), but somehow rambled into a convoluted heist-caper-comedy-of-errors-crapfest of biblical proportions. Any movie featuring Rob Schneider as the dramatic foil is not starting off well. Michael Clarke Duncan and Jennifer Esposito should both rush to the nearest confessional and request a serious pennance for their ludicrous turn as lovers on the lam. Missi Pyle plays a transsexual, what else can I say?
17.) AMERICAN HISTORY X
I'm sure you're probably wondering how a sensitive intellectual like me has overlooked this movie for so long. It has been recommended for years, but I put it aside for reasons that now seem trite and petty. I owe a serious apology to everyone who ever told me that I should see this movie. I regret missing it, and I am now thankful that I have experienced what can only be described as "powerful". The message is there, but the fuzziness of an afterschool special is thankfully missing. Edward Norton gives the performance of a lifetime. I'm not going to ramble or gush on this one, but I will heavily encourage those of you looking for something potent to see to put this one in immediately.
18.) AMISTAD
This was a good movie. It had just enough of the hollywood gloss to give it the requisite scope, but there was a true honesty that this historical drama carried that really made it watchable. Based on historical events, this movie (another one that falls into that category of movies that I really should have seen prior to this experiment) tells the harrowing story of the Africans who rose up against their slave captors and fought for their own freedom and the trial that ensued. I was impressed. While Matthew McConaughey really should stick to the cupcake films he's best known for, he did an admirable job as the defending attorney. Djimon Honsou is always impressive as his figure commands your attention when he walks into frame. This one bears a resonance that was refreshing without being too quaint or self-serving. The montage of events that transpired from the Africans' enslavement all the way to their mutiny is nothing short of horrific, but moving. The best actors know how to tell a story with their eyes. Djimon Honsou spun hours of fables without saying a single word of English.
I am still promising to keep these posts up-to-date. I know I have reels to watch before I sleep, but I am feeling confident so far. I have just reached the "50" mark in viewing. 10% down. Much more to go. In the meantime, I think I will enjoy the clouds smiling at me as I take this show outside.
Cheers!
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Just What Is Written in Those Envelopes Anyways?
By this time in the week, the aftermath of the Oscar ceremonies have settled down. Unused speeches and once-used glamour gowns are now cast aside as the winners and losers both answer the question of most cinematic importance: "What's next?". It seems that there is an inevitable cycle that exists in the world of the creative arts. Those that sit and revel in their past accomplishments flounder too much to be able to contribute too much for the future, while those who let the works of the past remain there are able to keep that driving force going with the momentum of a fat child at an ice cream bar. I do have to say that there were few surprises in the mostly tepid evening. Though I maintain my opinion that "The Hurt Locker" won solely on it's political and not artistic merit. Personally, I fell asleep twice while watching it. "Precious", on the other hand, had me riveted to the screen long after the movie was over.
My apologies for taking a week off. Last week marked my third funeral for 2010. Somber as this year has turned out thus far, I do find comfort and solace in the fact that there is still breath in my own lungs, and that neither disease nor hubris has managed to take me down...yet. I suppose it's sufficient to recognize that in spite of the travails this new decade has brought, there are still some mighty good perks. Sexy Viewing Companion is always a great source of good-feeling. Though she lives elsewhere now, I do look forward to having her share in some of the relentless movies that keep waging war on my DVD player.
So, speaking of movies, I suppose I should move on to the real matter at hand and get on to the reviews. Today's post gets us a little further into the "A"s and includes a few gems that have eluded me for a while.
9.) ALIEN NATION
James Caan will always and forever be Sonny Corleone, but there are moments when his gruff Irish-Italian exterior plays gently into the role of burdened everyman. I've seen this movie on shelves of video stores for years. My love/hate relationship with science fiction has managed to steer me away from picking this up, and opting for the next installment in the Police Academy series instead. Fortunately, this project finally afforded me the opportunity to face my apprehension and pop this one into the machine. I was glad I did. I kind of wish I had seen it years ago. It might have altered my experience of watching District 9. Here the aliens do speak English, and there's a more human quality to them. Mandy Patinkin is great as Caan's otherworldy partner. The latent themes of racial inequality, and tolerance are less than awkward, but enjoyment is still quite capable of occurring. Plus, Terrance Stamp shows up as an alien....that's not Zod. Go figure!
10.) ALL THE LITTLE ANIMALS
This indie from across the pond is fairly trite. It does bost some good star talent in the likes of Christian Bale and John Hurt. Here we have the tale of a young heir to a department store dynasty. His dear mother has died, and he's now at the hands of his wicked stepfather (a truly original concept, thank-you very much). There's only one problem, our protagonist just happens to have some sort of mental deficiency. We're never really sure just how mentally handicapped he is, though. Christian Bale seems to play him as somewhere between Rain Man, and an extra from One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest. Our simpleton decides to escape the abuse of his stepfather and journey out into the harsh cruel world of the verdant English countryside. Along the way, he meets an amateur conservationist and roadkill funeral director played by John Hurt. His mission is to see to it that all of God's little creatures should be afforded the dignity of a decent burial, even if they have become street pancakes. What makes all of this even more confusing is the fact that Bale's character also acts as voiceover narrator. You're never really sure just how much of this is put on, or not. I kept watching in the hopes that I would see some elements of Batman or John Connor surface, but my dreams were picked apart by the carrion that was this terrible waste of a good two hours.
11.) ALL THAT JAZZ
I have to admit that I am a fan of the American Musical (especially the ones written by Brits.) This auto-bio pic tells the somewhat fabricated story of Bob Fosse's alter-ego (played with exuberant pinache by Roy Scheider. The musical numbers are bright, splashy, daring, and a little sexy. This was one of those great movies that made me more conscious of my own artistic origins. I felt inspired by watching his tireless work ethic. And I felt that tug of warning as his excesses threatened to tear his world apart. Of all the movies that this project has presented me up to this point, this movie really made me sit up and take notice. There I was watching Chief Brody tackle a behemoth more deadly and vicious than any shark: the critics of a Broadway musical. Ann Reinking is brilliant as his on-again-off-again lover. This movie is one that will definitely find a repeat viewing in the near future. Having been a fan of Fosse's work, I especially enjoyed the personal reflections of his life that can be found in his movement. Plus, I am reminded as to why I started dancing in the first place: beautiful girls in tight, skimpy clothing. What could be more artistic than that?
12.) ALL THE KING'S MEN
I have spent a great deal of time with the novel upon which this film is based. Sean Penn is captivating as he portays a simple man caught up in the very corruption that he sought to fight by running for office in the first place. With an all-star cast featuring James Gandolfini, Jude Law, Anthony Hopkins, and Kate Winslet, this is a fairly impressive film adaptation of a book that has given me many a good naps. Having grown up in the South, I can see the progression that Penn's Willie Stark was fighting for. I grew up seeing the vestigial remnants of the Old South, the land of broken dreams. I remember being thankful that I wasn't born 60 years prior. This movie does have that inspirational message that rings out like a faulty accent. It's one that's easy to hear, but disconcerting to listen to.
13.) ALPHA DOG
Oh to live the tortured existence of a young wealthy disillusioned kid in the well-to-do suburbs of L.A. I was honestly expecting this to be movie that would cause me to reach for my glasses to correct my vision from too much eye-rolling. I was met with a film that was more fascinating than I expected. Detaching from a reality that allows these schmucks to fully exist, I was able to watch this movie and enjoy some pretty good performances. The most surprising turn came from Justin Timberlake. His drug dealing first lieutenant to Emile Hirsch's character was fierce, and sensitive. He was deceptively one-note until some real depth was required, and he showed up in full force. As always, Ben Foster came to play. He was frightening as the rival drug dealer who engages Hirsch's character in a full-on war that does not end well at all. While this movie could have easily been a petty attempt to make a Pulp Fiction for the teenie set, it ended up being of more substance and thought than I was initially going to give it credit.
I promise that I will have more reviews up soon. While my posting time has been limited, I can assure you that I have not been neglectful in my viewing duties. Pass the popcorn, this is going to be a long week!
My apologies for taking a week off. Last week marked my third funeral for 2010. Somber as this year has turned out thus far, I do find comfort and solace in the fact that there is still breath in my own lungs, and that neither disease nor hubris has managed to take me down...yet. I suppose it's sufficient to recognize that in spite of the travails this new decade has brought, there are still some mighty good perks. Sexy Viewing Companion is always a great source of good-feeling. Though she lives elsewhere now, I do look forward to having her share in some of the relentless movies that keep waging war on my DVD player.
So, speaking of movies, I suppose I should move on to the real matter at hand and get on to the reviews. Today's post gets us a little further into the "A"s and includes a few gems that have eluded me for a while.
9.) ALIEN NATION
James Caan will always and forever be Sonny Corleone, but there are moments when his gruff Irish-Italian exterior plays gently into the role of burdened everyman. I've seen this movie on shelves of video stores for years. My love/hate relationship with science fiction has managed to steer me away from picking this up, and opting for the next installment in the Police Academy series instead. Fortunately, this project finally afforded me the opportunity to face my apprehension and pop this one into the machine. I was glad I did. I kind of wish I had seen it years ago. It might have altered my experience of watching District 9. Here the aliens do speak English, and there's a more human quality to them. Mandy Patinkin is great as Caan's otherworldy partner. The latent themes of racial inequality, and tolerance are less than awkward, but enjoyment is still quite capable of occurring. Plus, Terrance Stamp shows up as an alien....that's not Zod. Go figure!
10.) ALL THE LITTLE ANIMALS
This indie from across the pond is fairly trite. It does bost some good star talent in the likes of Christian Bale and John Hurt. Here we have the tale of a young heir to a department store dynasty. His dear mother has died, and he's now at the hands of his wicked stepfather (a truly original concept, thank-you very much). There's only one problem, our protagonist just happens to have some sort of mental deficiency. We're never really sure just how mentally handicapped he is, though. Christian Bale seems to play him as somewhere between Rain Man, and an extra from One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest. Our simpleton decides to escape the abuse of his stepfather and journey out into the harsh cruel world of the verdant English countryside. Along the way, he meets an amateur conservationist and roadkill funeral director played by John Hurt. His mission is to see to it that all of God's little creatures should be afforded the dignity of a decent burial, even if they have become street pancakes. What makes all of this even more confusing is the fact that Bale's character also acts as voiceover narrator. You're never really sure just how much of this is put on, or not. I kept watching in the hopes that I would see some elements of Batman or John Connor surface, but my dreams were picked apart by the carrion that was this terrible waste of a good two hours.
11.) ALL THAT JAZZ
I have to admit that I am a fan of the American Musical (especially the ones written by Brits.) This auto-bio pic tells the somewhat fabricated story of Bob Fosse's alter-ego (played with exuberant pinache by Roy Scheider. The musical numbers are bright, splashy, daring, and a little sexy. This was one of those great movies that made me more conscious of my own artistic origins. I felt inspired by watching his tireless work ethic. And I felt that tug of warning as his excesses threatened to tear his world apart. Of all the movies that this project has presented me up to this point, this movie really made me sit up and take notice. There I was watching Chief Brody tackle a behemoth more deadly and vicious than any shark: the critics of a Broadway musical. Ann Reinking is brilliant as his on-again-off-again lover. This movie is one that will definitely find a repeat viewing in the near future. Having been a fan of Fosse's work, I especially enjoyed the personal reflections of his life that can be found in his movement. Plus, I am reminded as to why I started dancing in the first place: beautiful girls in tight, skimpy clothing. What could be more artistic than that?
12.) ALL THE KING'S MEN
I have spent a great deal of time with the novel upon which this film is based. Sean Penn is captivating as he portays a simple man caught up in the very corruption that he sought to fight by running for office in the first place. With an all-star cast featuring James Gandolfini, Jude Law, Anthony Hopkins, and Kate Winslet, this is a fairly impressive film adaptation of a book that has given me many a good naps. Having grown up in the South, I can see the progression that Penn's Willie Stark was fighting for. I grew up seeing the vestigial remnants of the Old South, the land of broken dreams. I remember being thankful that I wasn't born 60 years prior. This movie does have that inspirational message that rings out like a faulty accent. It's one that's easy to hear, but disconcerting to listen to.
13.) ALPHA DOG
Oh to live the tortured existence of a young wealthy disillusioned kid in the well-to-do suburbs of L.A. I was honestly expecting this to be movie that would cause me to reach for my glasses to correct my vision from too much eye-rolling. I was met with a film that was more fascinating than I expected. Detaching from a reality that allows these schmucks to fully exist, I was able to watch this movie and enjoy some pretty good performances. The most surprising turn came from Justin Timberlake. His drug dealing first lieutenant to Emile Hirsch's character was fierce, and sensitive. He was deceptively one-note until some real depth was required, and he showed up in full force. As always, Ben Foster came to play. He was frightening as the rival drug dealer who engages Hirsch's character in a full-on war that does not end well at all. While this movie could have easily been a petty attempt to make a Pulp Fiction for the teenie set, it ended up being of more substance and thought than I was initially going to give it credit.
I promise that I will have more reviews up soon. While my posting time has been limited, I can assure you that I have not been neglectful in my viewing duties. Pass the popcorn, this is going to be a long week!
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Yin Yang and Yutz
With the strains of Metallica's Kill 'Em All album streaming wickedly through the earphones of my ipod, I sit here contemplating the grand balance of nature. My faithful green chair is the perfect place for me to briefly reflect upon the wonder that is the duality of all things. Yesterday and today (thus far) seem to be falling right in the middle of where I am most comfortable: the lukewarm existence of neither good nor bad (though unlike Hamlet, there will be not too much thinking to make anything so). I had the great good fortune of enjoying a rather spectacular weekend. Good times with good friends. A few affirming phone calls from my very pretty friend who lives in another state, and the general cheer that accompanies a feeling of accomplished joy. Immediately following the weekend of bliss came the week of blight. As it would seem, for everything that made the weekend content, there came a bone to raise contention on Monday and Tuesday. Now I'm not one to rant and rave over the absurd little things, but it would certainly appear as good as the weekend was, the week would prove to be as bad. Fortunately, the ship has righted itself, and things are back on track for complacent mediocrity. This is where I'm most productive, and this is where I hope to remain for a while (though some more touches of the bliss will be welcome, as long as there is no accompanying blight.
Despite the ups and downs, I was able to get some more movies under my belt. Once again, I'm seeing a trend of experiencing the cinematic good, bad, and ugly (and, yes, The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly is on the list of movies to be watched). So with as little ado as marks a man of my means, here come the reviews!
5.) AGAINST ALL ODDS
I have a theory going that, despite The Fabulous Baker Boys which had the good fortune of the equalizing presence of Beau Bridges, every movie that Jeff Bridges made prior to The Big Lebowski was merely a dress rehearsal of characterization. With that in mind, it's only fair to include a subtitle for each of his previous films (i.e. "White Squall: The Dude on a Boat"; "Starman: The Dude in a Spaceship"; "Tron: The Dude in a Video Game", etc.). Therefore, we have "Against All Odds: The Dude Plays Football". This is a mostly forgettable insert in the Dude's oeuvre. The story of a football player who falls in love/lust with a hustler's girlfriend and chases her through Mexico to save her from her murderous boyfriend (played with a true "phone-it-in" performance by James Woods). The scenery is nice when they're traipsing through Aztec ruins, and cavorting on the beach. But the story is fairly ludicrous. I wanted this to be more of a football movie, but, alas, the producers truly fumbled when it came to the atheletic subtext. One fun spot has Alex Karras playing a trainer/hitman for hire finding the couple in Mexico, revealing his true friendship and concern for our protagonist, before taking a bullet in his forehead. Touching, and with the right amount of cheese.
6.) AGNES OF GOD
A few years ago, I was reading scripts for a theatre and I came across a play that really grabbed me and didn't let go. It was mystical, full of intrigue, drama, passion, and characters that were so complex that you couldn't get them out of your mind. I was pleased to find on our shelves that there was a film version of this play that I had once enjoyed. Putting in the DVD player did not disappoint. This is a great adaption of the three-person play. Here, the screenwriter addded scenes to flesh out the narrative, all the while giving the movie an honest and gripping feel. Meg Tilly is absolutely heartbreaking in her portrayal of the young novice nun being tried for the death of her newborn baby. I don't want to spoil this one for those that haven't seen it (or even read the play), but rest assured, nothing is as it seems. Jane Fonda and Anne Bancroft are both equally potent in their roles of Psychologist and Nun, respectively. This was one of those moments when I made a mental note to give this one another viewing when the time was right. I especially appreciated the spirituality that this film dealt with. It raised great questions without worrying about sacrilege.Pay close attention to the conversation between Fonda and Tilly in the belltower. It it doesn't move you, you are wearing concrete shoes.
7.) AIR AMERICA
I knew I would come across an awkward buddy flick before too long. I wasn't let down by this 2 hour trip through the jungles of Laos. While I have my beefs with Mel Gibson, for the most part I've enjoyed his contributions to cinema prior to The Passion of the Christ. This may fall into that category of paycheck films that also plays home to Bird on a Wire and What Women Want. Robert Downey, Jr, on the other hand, is still stuck in his emolation of the Brat Pack. If these actors had met and teamed up a decade later, this movie might really have been spectacular. The action sequences were great for the popcorn bowl. The story line about the corruption of our government during the Vietnam War is fun and funny (at times). It just really seemed that this movie was willing to settle for a "B-" when it truly could have been of "A" quality. It's easy to see Mel Gibson still having trouble shaking his "Riggs" persona from the Lethal Weapon films.
8.) ALI G INDAHOUSE: THE MOVIE
Sacha Baron Cohen is a genius. His ability to play beyond dumb is a mark of someone who is certainly the smartest person in the room. Granted, I still haven't seen every episode of the Ali G Show yet, but what I've experienced so far has whet my appetite for only great things from this man. At first I was a little wary since this movie was going to be more like a traditional film rather than the pseudo-documentary style of his show and his other movies Bruno, and Borat. I had nothing to worry about. He is certainly just as capable doing a straight comedy as he is doing a guerilla-style attack. Yes, the plot is absurd, but you don't go to Hooters just for the wings. The general humor in this film had me doing several spit-takes. I thoroughly enjoyed this. The fictional character makes a run at Parliament, and his co-opted African cultural philosophy suddenly rings very true with the citizens of England. Of course, there are the machinations of an evil chancellor that our hero must overcome. Along the way, the comedy is unsettlingly funny, absurd, and coupled with a wink and smile that reminds you it's ok to laugh when he lets you in on the joke.
I feel the smell of success overpowering the smell of breakfast as I look into the eyes of this video collection. While I'm making slow and steady headway, I realize that I have reels to watch before I sleep. I'm not afraid. But I do hope that this much escapism doesn't alter my own reality too much. Hell, people may need me one day.
Despite the ups and downs, I was able to get some more movies under my belt. Once again, I'm seeing a trend of experiencing the cinematic good, bad, and ugly (and, yes, The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly is on the list of movies to be watched). So with as little ado as marks a man of my means, here come the reviews!
5.) AGAINST ALL ODDS
I have a theory going that, despite The Fabulous Baker Boys which had the good fortune of the equalizing presence of Beau Bridges, every movie that Jeff Bridges made prior to The Big Lebowski was merely a dress rehearsal of characterization. With that in mind, it's only fair to include a subtitle for each of his previous films (i.e. "White Squall: The Dude on a Boat"; "Starman: The Dude in a Spaceship"; "Tron: The Dude in a Video Game", etc.). Therefore, we have "Against All Odds: The Dude Plays Football". This is a mostly forgettable insert in the Dude's oeuvre. The story of a football player who falls in love/lust with a hustler's girlfriend and chases her through Mexico to save her from her murderous boyfriend (played with a true "phone-it-in" performance by James Woods). The scenery is nice when they're traipsing through Aztec ruins, and cavorting on the beach. But the story is fairly ludicrous. I wanted this to be more of a football movie, but, alas, the producers truly fumbled when it came to the atheletic subtext. One fun spot has Alex Karras playing a trainer/hitman for hire finding the couple in Mexico, revealing his true friendship and concern for our protagonist, before taking a bullet in his forehead. Touching, and with the right amount of cheese.
6.) AGNES OF GOD
A few years ago, I was reading scripts for a theatre and I came across a play that really grabbed me and didn't let go. It was mystical, full of intrigue, drama, passion, and characters that were so complex that you couldn't get them out of your mind. I was pleased to find on our shelves that there was a film version of this play that I had once enjoyed. Putting in the DVD player did not disappoint. This is a great adaption of the three-person play. Here, the screenwriter addded scenes to flesh out the narrative, all the while giving the movie an honest and gripping feel. Meg Tilly is absolutely heartbreaking in her portrayal of the young novice nun being tried for the death of her newborn baby. I don't want to spoil this one for those that haven't seen it (or even read the play), but rest assured, nothing is as it seems. Jane Fonda and Anne Bancroft are both equally potent in their roles of Psychologist and Nun, respectively. This was one of those moments when I made a mental note to give this one another viewing when the time was right. I especially appreciated the spirituality that this film dealt with. It raised great questions without worrying about sacrilege.Pay close attention to the conversation between Fonda and Tilly in the belltower. It it doesn't move you, you are wearing concrete shoes.
7.) AIR AMERICA
I knew I would come across an awkward buddy flick before too long. I wasn't let down by this 2 hour trip through the jungles of Laos. While I have my beefs with Mel Gibson, for the most part I've enjoyed his contributions to cinema prior to The Passion of the Christ. This may fall into that category of paycheck films that also plays home to Bird on a Wire and What Women Want. Robert Downey, Jr, on the other hand, is still stuck in his emolation of the Brat Pack. If these actors had met and teamed up a decade later, this movie might really have been spectacular. The action sequences were great for the popcorn bowl. The story line about the corruption of our government during the Vietnam War is fun and funny (at times). It just really seemed that this movie was willing to settle for a "B-" when it truly could have been of "A" quality. It's easy to see Mel Gibson still having trouble shaking his "Riggs" persona from the Lethal Weapon films.
8.) ALI G INDAHOUSE: THE MOVIE
Sacha Baron Cohen is a genius. His ability to play beyond dumb is a mark of someone who is certainly the smartest person in the room. Granted, I still haven't seen every episode of the Ali G Show yet, but what I've experienced so far has whet my appetite for only great things from this man. At first I was a little wary since this movie was going to be more like a traditional film rather than the pseudo-documentary style of his show and his other movies Bruno, and Borat. I had nothing to worry about. He is certainly just as capable doing a straight comedy as he is doing a guerilla-style attack. Yes, the plot is absurd, but you don't go to Hooters just for the wings. The general humor in this film had me doing several spit-takes. I thoroughly enjoyed this. The fictional character makes a run at Parliament, and his co-opted African cultural philosophy suddenly rings very true with the citizens of England. Of course, there are the machinations of an evil chancellor that our hero must overcome. Along the way, the comedy is unsettlingly funny, absurd, and coupled with a wink and smile that reminds you it's ok to laugh when he lets you in on the joke.
I feel the smell of success overpowering the smell of breakfast as I look into the eyes of this video collection. While I'm making slow and steady headway, I realize that I have reels to watch before I sleep. I'm not afraid. But I do hope that this much escapism doesn't alter my own reality too much. Hell, people may need me one day.
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Setting Sail
There's nothing more disconcerting than realizing your favorite programs are being pre-empted by men in tights doing something with an axel. Ok, I suppose one could make an argument for a few more troubling realizations, but for the sake of this post, I'll choose ice dancing as my bain du jour. Not that there's anything particularly terrible about the Olympics, but I truly have no desire to watch them. Besides, it's the Winter Games that are dominating the airwaves. Everyone knows that the Winter Games are the inferior closet brother to the Summer Games. In the Summer Games there are events like hammer throwing, and spear hurling. In the Summer Games men engage in the oldest form of homoerotic entertainment known to our species: Greco-Roman wrestling. In the summer games we have acknowledged sports like basketball and baseball. What do we get with the winter games? Stoned snowboarders, and ice-dancing men in pants so tight you can tell what religion they are. During these games pot and cosmo-tini's are added to the list of performance enhancers. Not my cup of tea.
So, this television void has given me ample time to make some serious headway in my task to watch as many movies that are new to me as I possibly can. My goal is 500 this year. It's certainly possible, but we'll see if the determination and grit can win out over eventual ennui. If not, then I guess I will suffer the fate of the silver medalist: the also-rans of history.
Without further ado, it's on to some reviews of my recent cinematic conquests!
1.) Abbott And Costello Meet Frankenstein
What better place to start than the alphabetical genesis of this new collection? Admittedly, my new roommate is a bit of a Frankenstein fanatic. I'm pretty sure he has every Frankenstein-related film that's ever been released. Some of these gems include: Bride of Frankenstein, Frankenstein Unbound, Frankenstein Reborn, Lady Frankenstein, and my personal favorite, Blackenstein. Needless to say, I am in for some real crap. But, I am certain there will be some redeemable flicks within this oeuvre. So my first step on this long journey is a cinematic classic. This comic masterpiece offers a chance to see the immortal comic team share the screen with some true horror legends. This Hollywood Who's Who of 1948 includes Bela Lugosi in his most endearing role, that of the undead Dracula, and Lon Chaney, Jr as the Wolf Man. Seeing these actors turn their iconic roles into comic foils for the likes of Bud and Lou is worth more than twice the price of admission. Since I paid nothing to watch this movie, I can state confidently that I would happily pay twice or even thrice that! Truly one I'll watch again...but probably not any time soon.
2.) ABOUT LAST NIGHT
Ok, this second movie was pretty terrible. It's obviously an excoriation of the twists and turns of dating in a major city. Our protagonists are accustomed to the "love 'em and leave 'em" style of relationships. Long term means a second date. Here they slowly fall in love and realize that, perhaps, there is something out there better than a life of one-night-stands. What a load of crap! Now I'm not judging the sentimentality of this concept, but it's portrayal by Demi Moore and Rob Lowe makes you really root for them to stay together, not because you want them to be happy, but because they are such miserable, self-centered, social pariahs that there union saves the rest of us from having fall prey to their juvenile boorishness. Thankfully, the producers cast Elizabeth Perkins and James Belushi as their respective best friends. I say thankfully because their presence makes the two leads look ideal by comparison. Adapted from a script by David Mamet, this movie was an eyesore on the way to completing my goal. On another note, I was treated to a nice view of Demi Moore's pre-surgical-enhancement nakedness. Amazing how quickly a movie can be redeemed.
3.) ADAPTATION
I know many cinephiles who bow down and worship at the feet of Charlie Kaufman for his work on Being John Malkovitch. I claim utter indifference. Frankly, the former was a little too quirky for my taste. Perhaps that feeling gave me prejudice to avoid this movie for so long. Regardless, I am glad I finally saw this one. It is truly a meta-film in every definition of the term. It's self-awareness is probably what makes it most compelling to view. You get sucked into this world that just keeps getting more convoluted (and adapted). I was impressed. Admittedly, there were moments toward the end (I won't spoil this one, though I won't be as judicious in the future with other movies), that I found it drifting a little too close to the uncomfortably absurd. Chris Cooper is quite good. His Oscar was well deserved. Plus, you see Meryl Streep's own set of awards. Nice.
4.) THE ADULT VERSION OF JEKYLL & HIDE
Ok, this is pretty much a porn, but it's one of the funniest attempts at storytelling that has ever been captured on celluloid. A sexploitation film from 1971, this utter monstrosity is the retelling of the Jekyll and Hyde story in a "modern" setting. As a brief synopsis: Dr. Leeder, a lecherous medicine man who lists cheating on his fiance' as a full-time hobby, stumbles upon the diary of the real Dr. Jeckyll. In this ancient tome (written in a composition notebook) he learns of the sexual exploits of Jekyll's alter-ego, Mr. Hyde. Thanks to his less-than-legal means of procuring this text, he is being pursued by the police who want to connect him to the murder of a shopkeeper. In the mean time, Dr. Leeder decides to test Jekyll's formula on himself. Amazingly he has all three (yes THREE) ingredients to make this monstrous potion. His other half, as it turns out, is a voluptuous blonde (with obvious surgical scars from pre-filming enhancement) named Miss Hide. Ah, the twist! In order to remain hidden from the cops, he keeps the form of the sexy Miss Hide who then proceeds to have affairs with Leeder's secretary, his fiance' and some random sailor. But it's not gay since Leeder is in disguise as a woman! This schlocky masterpiece is for the T 'n A crowd (40 years ago). The dialogue is atrociously bad, and the science of Jekyll is glossed over worse than a emo kid's need for rebellion. Needless to say, this movie is AWESOME! Certainly the first true gem of this journey.
I am certain that in this olympic interlude, I'll have more opportunities to add to the list. So far I've yet to find a movie that is a complete waste of time, though there have certainly been those that may not warrant a second viewing before the apocalypse. But until then, there is always curling! Sweeping and ice, what could be better?!
So, this television void has given me ample time to make some serious headway in my task to watch as many movies that are new to me as I possibly can. My goal is 500 this year. It's certainly possible, but we'll see if the determination and grit can win out over eventual ennui. If not, then I guess I will suffer the fate of the silver medalist: the also-rans of history.
Without further ado, it's on to some reviews of my recent cinematic conquests!
1.) Abbott And Costello Meet Frankenstein
What better place to start than the alphabetical genesis of this new collection? Admittedly, my new roommate is a bit of a Frankenstein fanatic. I'm pretty sure he has every Frankenstein-related film that's ever been released. Some of these gems include: Bride of Frankenstein, Frankenstein Unbound, Frankenstein Reborn, Lady Frankenstein, and my personal favorite, Blackenstein. Needless to say, I am in for some real crap. But, I am certain there will be some redeemable flicks within this oeuvre. So my first step on this long journey is a cinematic classic. This comic masterpiece offers a chance to see the immortal comic team share the screen with some true horror legends. This Hollywood Who's Who of 1948 includes Bela Lugosi in his most endearing role, that of the undead Dracula, and Lon Chaney, Jr as the Wolf Man. Seeing these actors turn their iconic roles into comic foils for the likes of Bud and Lou is worth more than twice the price of admission. Since I paid nothing to watch this movie, I can state confidently that I would happily pay twice or even thrice that! Truly one I'll watch again...but probably not any time soon.
2.) ABOUT LAST NIGHT
Ok, this second movie was pretty terrible. It's obviously an excoriation of the twists and turns of dating in a major city. Our protagonists are accustomed to the "love 'em and leave 'em" style of relationships. Long term means a second date. Here they slowly fall in love and realize that, perhaps, there is something out there better than a life of one-night-stands. What a load of crap! Now I'm not judging the sentimentality of this concept, but it's portrayal by Demi Moore and Rob Lowe makes you really root for them to stay together, not because you want them to be happy, but because they are such miserable, self-centered, social pariahs that there union saves the rest of us from having fall prey to their juvenile boorishness. Thankfully, the producers cast Elizabeth Perkins and James Belushi as their respective best friends. I say thankfully because their presence makes the two leads look ideal by comparison. Adapted from a script by David Mamet, this movie was an eyesore on the way to completing my goal. On another note, I was treated to a nice view of Demi Moore's pre-surgical-enhancement nakedness. Amazing how quickly a movie can be redeemed.
3.) ADAPTATION
I know many cinephiles who bow down and worship at the feet of Charlie Kaufman for his work on Being John Malkovitch. I claim utter indifference. Frankly, the former was a little too quirky for my taste. Perhaps that feeling gave me prejudice to avoid this movie for so long. Regardless, I am glad I finally saw this one. It is truly a meta-film in every definition of the term. It's self-awareness is probably what makes it most compelling to view. You get sucked into this world that just keeps getting more convoluted (and adapted). I was impressed. Admittedly, there were moments toward the end (I won't spoil this one, though I won't be as judicious in the future with other movies), that I found it drifting a little too close to the uncomfortably absurd. Chris Cooper is quite good. His Oscar was well deserved. Plus, you see Meryl Streep's own set of awards. Nice.
4.) THE ADULT VERSION OF JEKYLL & HIDE
Ok, this is pretty much a porn, but it's one of the funniest attempts at storytelling that has ever been captured on celluloid. A sexploitation film from 1971, this utter monstrosity is the retelling of the Jekyll and Hyde story in a "modern" setting. As a brief synopsis: Dr. Leeder, a lecherous medicine man who lists cheating on his fiance' as a full-time hobby, stumbles upon the diary of the real Dr. Jeckyll. In this ancient tome (written in a composition notebook) he learns of the sexual exploits of Jekyll's alter-ego, Mr. Hyde. Thanks to his less-than-legal means of procuring this text, he is being pursued by the police who want to connect him to the murder of a shopkeeper. In the mean time, Dr. Leeder decides to test Jekyll's formula on himself. Amazingly he has all three (yes THREE) ingredients to make this monstrous potion. His other half, as it turns out, is a voluptuous blonde (with obvious surgical scars from pre-filming enhancement) named Miss Hide. Ah, the twist! In order to remain hidden from the cops, he keeps the form of the sexy Miss Hide who then proceeds to have affairs with Leeder's secretary, his fiance' and some random sailor. But it's not gay since Leeder is in disguise as a woman! This schlocky masterpiece is for the T 'n A crowd (40 years ago). The dialogue is atrociously bad, and the science of Jekyll is glossed over worse than a emo kid's need for rebellion. Needless to say, this movie is AWESOME! Certainly the first true gem of this journey.
I am certain that in this olympic interlude, I'll have more opportunities to add to the list. So far I've yet to find a movie that is a complete waste of time, though there have certainly been those that may not warrant a second viewing before the apocalypse. But until then, there is always curling! Sweeping and ice, what could be better?!
Saturday, February 13, 2010
I Just Drove in from Phoenix, And Boy Are My Arms Tired
To say that the year that was the last ended with a bang would be, more or less, the understatement equivalent of saying that Adolph Hitler was a bit of a jerk. I won't go into all the details (some wonderful, some heart-breaking, and some just downright odd), but suffice it to say that coming back to this blog is a welcome return after a too-lengthy vacation. Much like the normal return from a big trip, the days after include the unpacking, the discovery that sand truly does get everywhere, and the attempt to re-assimilate yourself back into a routine that seems as foreign as the clerk at your nearest gas station. Be it happy, sad, bittersweet, or just plain exhausting, this welcome home party to the information dirt road is long overdue, but thankfully existent.
Sitting at this desk with my laptop staring me down, reminds me that I've had my share of close calls in the last two months. Close calls are nature's way of saying "hey, douche bag, you're flying too near the sun!" These little daily reminders of our own mortality are enough (usually) to take put your hands back on the wheel, and turn off the cruise control. I thought it only prudent to use this first post to get myself reacquainted with the art of digital wordsmithing, and just talk about a motley skid row of topics. For those of you who know me, when I occasionally slip into the coma that accompanies the habits of a workaholic, I generally surround myself with as much pop-culture until I either receive divine inspiration, or the couch sores develop couch sores of their own. This being said, I have spent some good ole' quality time with my new roommate's movie collection. Finally, someone with a bigger DVD problem than mine! Within a matter of a few days my humble collection (exceeding 500) nearly tripled in size with the arrival of his personal video library. Thus, the cause for my latest venture: I am going to watch every movie in this house that I have never seen.
I am a lover of all art (and yes, Police Academy 3 is art....Police Academy 4 is not art). I feel that if a book has been written, it should be read. If a song has been recorded, it should be heard. And if an independent film company practiced the shameless self-promotion of making a low-budget film, then, by God, I should watch it. So far, I've added nearly 30 movies to a list of previously "never seen" flicks. I am learning a lot about my own tastes, but I'm also learning that perhaps not all art is truly best for public consumption. In the succeeding posts, I am going to chronicle some of the films I have have had the pleasure/fortuitous distaste of viewing. But before we get into that, I did want to share a fun little anecdote to end today's resurfacing.
One of my cinematic guilty pleasures (other than Skinemax) is to watch some good horror movies. The irony, as has been touched upon in previous posts, is that I am also a gigantic scaredy cat. The white whale du jour of my scary movie watching sail has been the frightfest "Paranormal Activity". Generally, I am one to listen to every bit of feedback from those who have gone before. For every average joe that tells me "man, that movie scared the pants off me", I am greeted with equal parts fear, interest, and disgust at picturing said joe with no pants. I anticipate seeing the movie, but also fear that its' frighteningness will be the death of me and my shivering heart. So, usually I must be coerced into watching this movie. Enter Sexy-Viewing Companion.
One night, Sexy Viewing Companion decides that I need to overcome my growing fear of this movie, and that we need to watch it together. Her plan is two-fold: 1.) that I will squeal like a small girl, thus giving her hours of entertainment at my expense, and 2.) that watching this movie with the lights off will force me into confronting the non-reality of a movie (i.e., I should really have nothing to fear, and should stop being a big baby). I reluctantly agreed, though I was somewhat pleased to have Sexy Viewing Companion with me for moral support....and I was not going to show any weakness.
Out go the lights. In goes the disc. And here comes the grainy magic.
Within minutes, we are introduced to cinemas' newest horror couple. Granted, I was inching myself closer and closer to SVC with every bump and noise that was heard onscreen as I imagined hearing something more fierce and demonic coming from the dark recesses of my own home. The sweat was cold, and my hands were now prey to the shaking and shivering of one in the presence of pure evil (brought on by the movie, and not SVC, mind you). I was feeling that old familiar feeling of a movie that was too scary to watch!
Thankfully, I was not alone. And by not alone, obviously I was with SVC, but she was starting to get just as freaked out as myself. At this point in the narrative, a new sensation began to take over: machismo. As my beautiful female friend was experiencing the thrill of watching a movie between the slits in her fingers, I was feeling empowered by the fact that I needed to remain calm so I could protect her should these demon beasts escape from their laser-manufactured home, and begin terrorizing us. Hellbeasts, be damned!
Right about the time this rush of masculinity hit me, I also felt the familiar tug of logic pulling on my sleeve. I began to realize more and more that, were I in the designer shoes of those poor saps on the screen, I might tend to act a little differently. Step 1: CLOSE THE DAMN DOOR. I think once I realized that something eerie was this way coming, I would shut the door to the bedroom, lock it, and let that be the test. If I awoke and the door was open, then it would be time for a new house, and possibly for a new bed mate. Movie over, head still attached. Life is back to normal.
We finished watching the movie (which I was now able to enjoy as a conscientious observer). While my fear had ebbed away, SVC was letting hers completely run away. We popped in a mindless comedy, tried to talk about something other than demon possession, and we eventually decided it was time for bed (though since my mother sometimes reads this blog, I will maintain that we did go to bed without "knowing" each other). I made a few jokes about what would happen if either of us were to wake up in the middle of the night and see the "Kate" character standing in my bedroom. For that illusion, I received some not-too-friendly punches on the arm.
Then, I closed and locked the door.
Sitting at this desk with my laptop staring me down, reminds me that I've had my share of close calls in the last two months. Close calls are nature's way of saying "hey, douche bag, you're flying too near the sun!" These little daily reminders of our own mortality are enough (usually) to take put your hands back on the wheel, and turn off the cruise control. I thought it only prudent to use this first post to get myself reacquainted with the art of digital wordsmithing, and just talk about a motley skid row of topics. For those of you who know me, when I occasionally slip into the coma that accompanies the habits of a workaholic, I generally surround myself with as much pop-culture until I either receive divine inspiration, or the couch sores develop couch sores of their own. This being said, I have spent some good ole' quality time with my new roommate's movie collection. Finally, someone with a bigger DVD problem than mine! Within a matter of a few days my humble collection (exceeding 500) nearly tripled in size with the arrival of his personal video library. Thus, the cause for my latest venture: I am going to watch every movie in this house that I have never seen.
I am a lover of all art (and yes, Police Academy 3 is art....Police Academy 4 is not art). I feel that if a book has been written, it should be read. If a song has been recorded, it should be heard. And if an independent film company practiced the shameless self-promotion of making a low-budget film, then, by God, I should watch it. So far, I've added nearly 30 movies to a list of previously "never seen" flicks. I am learning a lot about my own tastes, but I'm also learning that perhaps not all art is truly best for public consumption. In the succeeding posts, I am going to chronicle some of the films I have have had the pleasure/fortuitous distaste of viewing. But before we get into that, I did want to share a fun little anecdote to end today's resurfacing.
One of my cinematic guilty pleasures (other than Skinemax) is to watch some good horror movies. The irony, as has been touched upon in previous posts, is that I am also a gigantic scaredy cat. The white whale du jour of my scary movie watching sail has been the frightfest "Paranormal Activity". Generally, I am one to listen to every bit of feedback from those who have gone before. For every average joe that tells me "man, that movie scared the pants off me", I am greeted with equal parts fear, interest, and disgust at picturing said joe with no pants. I anticipate seeing the movie, but also fear that its' frighteningness will be the death of me and my shivering heart. So, usually I must be coerced into watching this movie. Enter Sexy-Viewing Companion.
One night, Sexy Viewing Companion decides that I need to overcome my growing fear of this movie, and that we need to watch it together. Her plan is two-fold: 1.) that I will squeal like a small girl, thus giving her hours of entertainment at my expense, and 2.) that watching this movie with the lights off will force me into confronting the non-reality of a movie (i.e., I should really have nothing to fear, and should stop being a big baby). I reluctantly agreed, though I was somewhat pleased to have Sexy Viewing Companion with me for moral support....and I was not going to show any weakness.
Out go the lights. In goes the disc. And here comes the grainy magic.
Within minutes, we are introduced to cinemas' newest horror couple. Granted, I was inching myself closer and closer to SVC with every bump and noise that was heard onscreen as I imagined hearing something more fierce and demonic coming from the dark recesses of my own home. The sweat was cold, and my hands were now prey to the shaking and shivering of one in the presence of pure evil (brought on by the movie, and not SVC, mind you). I was feeling that old familiar feeling of a movie that was too scary to watch!
Thankfully, I was not alone. And by not alone, obviously I was with SVC, but she was starting to get just as freaked out as myself. At this point in the narrative, a new sensation began to take over: machismo. As my beautiful female friend was experiencing the thrill of watching a movie between the slits in her fingers, I was feeling empowered by the fact that I needed to remain calm so I could protect her should these demon beasts escape from their laser-manufactured home, and begin terrorizing us. Hellbeasts, be damned!
Right about the time this rush of masculinity hit me, I also felt the familiar tug of logic pulling on my sleeve. I began to realize more and more that, were I in the designer shoes of those poor saps on the screen, I might tend to act a little differently. Step 1: CLOSE THE DAMN DOOR. I think once I realized that something eerie was this way coming, I would shut the door to the bedroom, lock it, and let that be the test. If I awoke and the door was open, then it would be time for a new house, and possibly for a new bed mate. Movie over, head still attached. Life is back to normal.
We finished watching the movie (which I was now able to enjoy as a conscientious observer). While my fear had ebbed away, SVC was letting hers completely run away. We popped in a mindless comedy, tried to talk about something other than demon possession, and we eventually decided it was time for bed (though since my mother sometimes reads this blog, I will maintain that we did go to bed without "knowing" each other). I made a few jokes about what would happen if either of us were to wake up in the middle of the night and see the "Kate" character standing in my bedroom. For that illusion, I received some not-too-friendly punches on the arm.
Then, I closed and locked the door.
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