The American dream is predicated on the concept that determination and true grit will eventually allow for success. Those of us who have found ourselves in the deep quagmire of desperation, clinging tightly to that fading glimmer of hope know just how difficult tenacity and consistency can be to maintain. I have to be honest. I was really beginning to feel that this holding pattern of career diversion was becoming more and more permanent. Thanks to some great opportunities that have arisen this week, I can say that, for the first time in a while, I'm beginning to feel like my career may be taking off again. This is an exceptionally exciting feeling. Should things continue down this path, I hope to be sharing some good news with those of you who have been faithfully reading these intermittent posts.
And now, on to the reviews!
51.) BE COOL
The sequal to Get Shorty, is more fun, more outrageous, and even more entertaining than its' predecessor. Chili Palmer (John Travolta oozing in his Scientological best) is still in L.A. He's made headway into the film world, and now he wants to turn his Shylock skills to the music industry and help a young artist (played delightfully and beautifully by Christina Milian) break her contract with a scheming manager. Extra kudos go to Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson and Vince Vaughn for taking on such absurdly over-the-top characters and imbuing them with sheer comic brutality. The Rock plays a body guard of questionable sexuality that would rather croon country songs than bash heads. Vaughn plays a record exec who has co-opted Black Culture so far as to make a serious claim for pretender of the century. If you can overlook Uma Thurman (which is generally considered the best way of dealing with her performances) then you are in for a wonderful treat. Pay extra close attention to the special features which shows the complete, and un-cut music video starring The Rock.
52.) BEFORE THE DEVIL KNOWS YOU'RE DEAD
Sidney Lumet is a phenomenal filmmaker. This convoluted suspense drama is a fine example of his skill and acumen behind the camera. Filled with a fine ensemble cast featuring outstanding performances by Philip Seymour Hoffman, Marisa Tomei, Ethan Hawke, Albert Finney, and Rosemary Harris, this is sure to keep you riveted for the full 117 minutes. Two brothers (Hawke and Hoffman) find themselves in severe financial straights: one sees his alimony and child support bills mounting up, the other has let his drug habit catch up to him. They decide to plan a jewel heist at a Mom and Pop jewelry store. The ironic twist is that the store belongs to their parents (Finney and Harris). When the deal goes horribly wrong, the two sees their plans go spiralling into worse and worse situations. I was genuinely impressed with this film, constantly guessing as to how this would all play out. Very much worth your while.
53.) THE BELIEVER
Prior to watching this movie, I counted American History X as the greatest achievement in films dealing with the concept of tolerance. No more. Ryan Gosling is absolutely brilliant as a Jewish anti-semite. His daily struggle with hiding his identity and past, while pursuing a life in the modern Nazi movement is handled with no self-mockery, and with a genuine unbiased truth. What astounded me more than the story, which was very powerful, was just how smart this movie really was. I remember watching Crash, and having a "well, duh!" reaction to the message of "we should really try to get along". With this movie, the message was just as simple and straight forward, but it never shied away from the true complexities that make us unique and deep human beings. Though I found the ending to be a little too "art-y" for my taste, I was blown away by just how gripping this drama really was.
54.) BEN X
Wow! This Flemish import indie was quite an edgy and powerful piece of cinema. Ben is a teenager dealing with the effects of Autism. The one true joy he has is the online gaming world where he can live out exciting adventures that are a far cry from his tortured existence in high school. He is constantly harassed and abused by bullies, so he eventually can take no more. He is aided by a beautiful girl who recogizes his struggle and the two of them formulate a plan to get revenge for their actions. There are a few scenes that are tough to watch. The bullying and mistreatment that Ben suffers will definitely tug at your heartstrings, but the redemption he acheives by the film's end is quite rewarding. Made in Belgium, the language barrier is broken when you see the hurt and depth in the eyes of an extrordinary actor. Please watch this movie.
55.)BEOWULF & GRENDEL
Well, my good fortune with great movies was bound to be short-lived. Next on the shelf was this waste of a perfectly good piece of plastic. Though it tries to be as accurate to the period as possible (including a cast of actors with Norse names that are impossible to type), it seriously falls short in the execution. The Vikings in the Capitol One commercials seem more authentic than this band of also-rans. Starring Gerard Butler who growls and crunches his way through the sub-standard text. Trying to create a bit of realism (which is certainly what the Old English epic needed), Grendel is characterized as a giant, bearded simpleton, who sleeps with a witch (the odd-cap Sarah Polley) and pummels Hrothgar's men because they killed his father when he was a bearded child. So, basically this is a revenge tale, without bothering to worry itself with those pesky little details like plot, and motivation, and decent storytelling. English students, do not watch this place of doing your required reading.
56.) BESIEGED
Not all that glitters is gold. Not ever Bertolucci film is an epic masterpiece. This snoozer tells the awkward love story of an African fugitive (Thandie Newton) and an eccentric musician (David Thewlis) both eking out a life in Rome. Though the visuals are stunning, the content is...not so much. Thewlis' Mr. Kinsky owns a large Roman villa, inherited from a deceased aunt. He hires medical student Shandurai to clean his house. Eventually (through means that are not made clear) he falls madly in love with her. The rest of the film becomes more of a journal entry than a plot. Shandurai's husband has been imprisoned by the brutal regime that has taken over her homeland. Once again, failing to accurately explain how, he is scheduled to be released and come to his wife in Rome. Spoiler alert!: the ending doesn't make a lick of sense! Billed as an erotic thriller, I found two things wrong with that advertisement.
57.) THE BEVERLY HILLBILLIES
This movie-version of the sitcom is silly, outrageous, and terrible. All that said, it's kind of entertaining. Jim Varney (God rest his denim soul) stars as Jed Clampett alongside Diedrich Bader and Cloris Leachman as Jethro and Granny, respectively. To be perfectly honest, if you can step away from the forced comedy, the stars put on quite a performance that is very enjoyable. Dabney Coleman is in his element as the harried Mr. Drysedale. Lily Tomlin is her constant warm self. The only dry spots in this sea of fun are the appearance of Rob Schneider and Lea Thompson as a scheming couple aiming to con the Clampetts out of their billions. Most of the jokes are fairly predictable, but there are a few golden hums that manage to elicit some genuine belly laughs. Take a chance on this one, and you won't regret it.
58.) BEVERLY HILLS NINJA
The comedy world lost a great talent the day that Chris Farley died. Though his work in Tommy Boy, Black Sheep and cameos in Billy Madison, and Dirty Work are superior examples of his extreme talent, this fun little movie is certainly not an injustice to his memory. Washing ashore in Japan, Farley's character, Haru, is mistaken for the mythic 'Great White Ninja' who is fabled to rise. Trained in the arts of ninjitsu, he never quite grasps the physicality of the methods, though he is well-learned in the spirituality. He gets embroiled in a mission for a beautiful American (Nicollette Sheridan) to uncover a counterfeiting scheme. He teams up with an underused Chris Rock, and the shenanigans are plenteous. Like most of his fish-out-of-water characters, this man-child is blissfully unaware of his own differences. He embraces the world around him like a fresh-faced youth. While not his best work, even Chris Farley's b-material is better than many of today's comics' A+ stuff.
59.) BEYOND THERAPY
The stage version of Christopher Durang's hit comedy is a winner. This dry attempt (fumbled through the fingers of the usually capable Robert Altman) is rather bland an boring. Despite having Julie Haggerty, Jeff Goldblum, and Christopher Guest, the film falls very flat in a most desperate and awkward way. To be perfectly honest, the comedy was virtually non-existent. The performances were ad libbed, and the overall feel was too blah to generate any interest whatsoever. This is quite a shame as the stage play is generally pretty entertaining. Jeff Goldblum's performance is all over the place, Christopher Guest plays effiminate without finding any real nuances. Julie Haggerty is frumpy mess. I think that the best way to deal with this movie is accepting that it is a failed experiment in attempting to blend realism with outrageous comedy. The result is just one long awkward and uncomfortable feeling.
60.) BHAJI ON THE BEACH
They say you should never judge a book by its' cover. You can, however, judge a DVD by its' cover. This little oddity is boxed like an imported bootleg. There are rampant misspellings and grammatical errors galore. What is contained inside is difficult to really describe. Apparently this was made for BBC television in the early 1990's, but it could easily have been an awkward MTV films production. This "life journey" tells the story of a group of Indian women making a daytrip to the beach town of Blackpool. There, each of them faces their own personal challenges that cause them to learn and grow, and accept who they are. While I'm not necessarily versed in traditional Indian culture, I do understand some of the underlying themes of racism, class struggle, and the need to rise above your situation. These are the issues that these women face, and all with the Lifetime Movie feel that makes their struggle more fun when paired with catchy music. If this were chronicling American women, there would be a montage of dancing to Motown music. Instead, these women end up at a male stripper revue. I'm sure it's lost in the translation.
There are many reasons that I find to celebrate the joys of life. Thankfully, SVC will be making her way to town in less than a month. The projects that I am blessed to be a part of seem to be blossoming into fruitful ventures.This is a good thing.
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Friday, April 16, 2010
Heartburn: It's What's For Dinner.
Here I sit in a meat-induced coma, trying to rectify the week that was. Last night was meatloaf night. This means that a meat log weighing roughly the same as George Foreman before he began pressing his burgers was on the menu. Also on the menu: potatoes. Yes, meat and potatoes! There is something beautifully American about dining on this simple and traditional combination. For my meatloaf: a pound of ground sirloin, a pound of ground sausage, garlic, purple onion, parmesan cheese, a litany of spices, and topped with thick-sliced bacon. My roommate drew similarities to the "Bacon Burger Dog" recipe. Though he was right in some ways, I was able to finish this meal with temporarily going blind or experiencing symptoms of ephasia.
It's been 16 hours, and I'm still not hungry. So, I thought I'd update some more reviews. For those of you paying close attention, you'll notice that there are now Amazon.com links next to each film.Should you feel so inspired as to purchase any (or all) of the movies reviewed on this blog, then you will be helping this little writer out.
44.) BARBERSHOP
I think that Ice Cube makes some pretty good choices in films on which he puts his name. With the same tone found in one of my personal favorites, Friday, he exhibits a great blend of hilariously inappropriate comedy mixed with heart and true feeling. Set in a neighborhood Barbershop in Southside Chicago, this "day-in-the-life" tale is both a slice of life, and a commentary on black men in America. What's especially refreshing is that while the movie does fall prey to victimizing some racial stereotypes, it also takes a few opportunities to bridge the gap and make a few powerful statements that must elicit a feeling of pride in anyone who watches this, regardless of skin color. Cedric The Entertainer is brilliantly funny. Hidden beneath some subtle age make-up and a blatantly ridiculous wig, he creates a man who has been in the barber business for a long time, and refuses to see it as anything other than true art. This work ethic is inspiring. Anthony Anderson also turns in rather humerous take as a thief who seems to be having the worst day of his career. I highly recommend spending an evening with this great film!
45.) BAREFOOT IN THE PARK
The questions I had about his movie are the same questions I had when I saw the play several years ago. How in the hell did these two ever get together? And why did they get married in the first place? I suppose the filmmakers can't be blamed for the faults in Neil Simon's script. Robert Redford and Jane Fonda are completely committed to their characters, though the unfortunate thing is that there's not much too be committed to. Both roles are shallow and straightforward. The movie, like the play, doesn't really get interesting until the arrival of Victor Vargas (Charles Boyer). Seeing this couple that had no believable reason to be together struggle to make their ludicrous marriage work is a bit like being broke but making a half-hearted attempt to offer to pay when some one else is reaching for the check. At times, this movie does find ways of producing a smile or two. But, for the most part, it is a good effort at polishing what used to be last night's dinner.
46.) BARELY LEGAL
Why is it that when teenagers are strapped for cash that they opt for the most outlandish scheme to cover their unnecessary expenses? I suppose its a mark of juvenile financial planning that allowed them to find themselves in the given situation in the first place. Take these social pariahs in this teen-age romp from the B-squad of Nation Lampoon. These high school cut-ups decide that they need money. To them, the obvious choice for fast cash is to innure themselves into the porn business. Well, what brilliant thinking! Take an industry about which you know nothing, persuade women to take their clothes off on film (despite that all the girls you know won't even give you the time of day), and market this to consumers (regardless of the fact that you know nothing about marketing or distribution). So this just makes perfect since. Based on the simple premise that says "since we like to watch porn, we are qualified to make porn", these schmucks set out to create their cinematic masterpiece. Of course, not having a budget is not a problem for them either. Billed as both "sexy" and "funny" I found this movie to be lacking the two things that make a sex-comedy really work: attractive women and good jokes. Based on this thinking, I feel that the next time I am in need of some quick cash, I am going to open my own nuclear power plant.
47.) BARTON FINK
This movie proves at last one fallible truth: not all Coen Brothers' films are created equal. Granted, there are some funny and fascinating moments in this study of a man's journey to find inspiration. But, for the most part, this movie lacks the verve and luster of their other films. Applause must be given to the cast for executing some fantastic performances. The attention to detail in creating this WWII Hollywood period piece is impressive, but the looks don't match the content. I really found this film to be dull, despite itself. Even with a murder mystery thrown in, I just felt that it dragged and muddled its' way through too much self-importance. It was a movie that was trying to be a film. While I am an admirer of most of their work, I think I'll file this one away in the category of "Yes, I've seen that, but only once".
48.) BASIC INSTINCT
I'm sure my "man-card" was in great risk of being taken away prior to my finally having taken the opportunity to see this. Of course, I knew the basic story, I knew the infamous interogation scene with the magical leg crossing. I was well-aware that Sharon Stone showed off her assets and her movie-stardom. What I didn't really realize was how good this movie was. Michael Douglas is fantastic as a San Francisco detective with a sordid and checkered past. Paul Verhoeven is truly hit-or-miss with his career. Consider this a homerun. The twists and turns, the pacing of the suspense, the intelligent dialogue all help to create what is a thoroughly enjoyable film that leaves a lasting impression. I think I'll watch this again...and perhaps with SVC the next time she's in town.
49.) THE BASKETBALL DIARIES
At once a cautionary tale of the dangerous road that you can expect to follow if you let drugs and alchohol take over your life, and an exploratory journey into the mind of a young poet who is searching to define himself through the juxtaposition of being both an artist and an athlete. Leonardo DiCaprio shines in what can only be described as a full-frontal assualt of character development. Mark Wahlberg shows some of that depth and intelligence that will manifest itself later in his career. This story of young prep-school basketball players who find themselves swept up in the world of drugs that transforms them from being students with potential, to junkies so desperate for a fix that the unspeakable becomes the standard vocabulary. Powerful, engaging, and just enough off-putting to make this film quite successful in its' aim. I would highly recommend this one to anyone willing to watch.
50.) BEAN: THE MOVIE
Preposterous, yes. Utterly Unbelievable, yes. A waste of a good afternoon, no. Rowan Atkinson returns to his BBC character of the absurdly fumbling Mr. Bean. Inept, and goofy, this grotesquely idiotic klutz is responsible for being the care-taker of the invaluable painting "Whistler's Mother". Sent to accompany the painting to L.A. where it will be displayed at a ritzy museum, Bean is mistakenly represented as a genius art-critic and scholar. Teaming up with the museum curator, one screw-up after another puts this priceless painting in harm's way more often than not. Peter MacNicol plays the curator with bug-eyed abandon. Lots of hair-pulling frantic reactions, and "ay-yi-yi" chutzpah make this silly comedy a respectable entry into the BBC oeuvre. Plus, a cameo by Burt Reynolds is never a bad thing.
Admittedly, this post has taken me nearly a week to finish. Most of my digestive issues have solved themselves, and I am in place to enjoy yet another weekend of culinary greatness. I hope this finds each of you well, as there will be lots more where this came from.
It's been 16 hours, and I'm still not hungry. So, I thought I'd update some more reviews. For those of you paying close attention, you'll notice that there are now Amazon.com links next to each film.Should you feel so inspired as to purchase any (or all) of the movies reviewed on this blog, then you will be helping this little writer out.
44.) BARBERSHOP
I think that Ice Cube makes some pretty good choices in films on which he puts his name. With the same tone found in one of my personal favorites, Friday, he exhibits a great blend of hilariously inappropriate comedy mixed with heart and true feeling. Set in a neighborhood Barbershop in Southside Chicago, this "day-in-the-life" tale is both a slice of life, and a commentary on black men in America. What's especially refreshing is that while the movie does fall prey to victimizing some racial stereotypes, it also takes a few opportunities to bridge the gap and make a few powerful statements that must elicit a feeling of pride in anyone who watches this, regardless of skin color. Cedric The Entertainer is brilliantly funny. Hidden beneath some subtle age make-up and a blatantly ridiculous wig, he creates a man who has been in the barber business for a long time, and refuses to see it as anything other than true art. This work ethic is inspiring. Anthony Anderson also turns in rather humerous take as a thief who seems to be having the worst day of his career. I highly recommend spending an evening with this great film!
45.) BAREFOOT IN THE PARK
The questions I had about his movie are the same questions I had when I saw the play several years ago. How in the hell did these two ever get together? And why did they get married in the first place? I suppose the filmmakers can't be blamed for the faults in Neil Simon's script. Robert Redford and Jane Fonda are completely committed to their characters, though the unfortunate thing is that there's not much too be committed to. Both roles are shallow and straightforward. The movie, like the play, doesn't really get interesting until the arrival of Victor Vargas (Charles Boyer). Seeing this couple that had no believable reason to be together struggle to make their ludicrous marriage work is a bit like being broke but making a half-hearted attempt to offer to pay when some one else is reaching for the check. At times, this movie does find ways of producing a smile or two. But, for the most part, it is a good effort at polishing what used to be last night's dinner.
46.) BARELY LEGAL
Why is it that when teenagers are strapped for cash that they opt for the most outlandish scheme to cover their unnecessary expenses? I suppose its a mark of juvenile financial planning that allowed them to find themselves in the given situation in the first place. Take these social pariahs in this teen-age romp from the B-squad of Nation Lampoon. These high school cut-ups decide that they need money. To them, the obvious choice for fast cash is to innure themselves into the porn business. Well, what brilliant thinking! Take an industry about which you know nothing, persuade women to take their clothes off on film (despite that all the girls you know won't even give you the time of day), and market this to consumers (regardless of the fact that you know nothing about marketing or distribution). So this just makes perfect since. Based on the simple premise that says "since we like to watch porn, we are qualified to make porn", these schmucks set out to create their cinematic masterpiece. Of course, not having a budget is not a problem for them either. Billed as both "sexy" and "funny" I found this movie to be lacking the two things that make a sex-comedy really work: attractive women and good jokes. Based on this thinking, I feel that the next time I am in need of some quick cash, I am going to open my own nuclear power plant.
47.) BARTON FINK
This movie proves at last one fallible truth: not all Coen Brothers' films are created equal. Granted, there are some funny and fascinating moments in this study of a man's journey to find inspiration. But, for the most part, this movie lacks the verve and luster of their other films. Applause must be given to the cast for executing some fantastic performances. The attention to detail in creating this WWII Hollywood period piece is impressive, but the looks don't match the content. I really found this film to be dull, despite itself. Even with a murder mystery thrown in, I just felt that it dragged and muddled its' way through too much self-importance. It was a movie that was trying to be a film. While I am an admirer of most of their work, I think I'll file this one away in the category of "Yes, I've seen that, but only once".
48.) BASIC INSTINCT
I'm sure my "man-card" was in great risk of being taken away prior to my finally having taken the opportunity to see this. Of course, I knew the basic story, I knew the infamous interogation scene with the magical leg crossing. I was well-aware that Sharon Stone showed off her assets and her movie-stardom. What I didn't really realize was how good this movie was. Michael Douglas is fantastic as a San Francisco detective with a sordid and checkered past. Paul Verhoeven is truly hit-or-miss with his career. Consider this a homerun. The twists and turns, the pacing of the suspense, the intelligent dialogue all help to create what is a thoroughly enjoyable film that leaves a lasting impression. I think I'll watch this again...and perhaps with SVC the next time she's in town.
49.) THE BASKETBALL DIARIES
At once a cautionary tale of the dangerous road that you can expect to follow if you let drugs and alchohol take over your life, and an exploratory journey into the mind of a young poet who is searching to define himself through the juxtaposition of being both an artist and an athlete. Leonardo DiCaprio shines in what can only be described as a full-frontal assualt of character development. Mark Wahlberg shows some of that depth and intelligence that will manifest itself later in his career. This story of young prep-school basketball players who find themselves swept up in the world of drugs that transforms them from being students with potential, to junkies so desperate for a fix that the unspeakable becomes the standard vocabulary. Powerful, engaging, and just enough off-putting to make this film quite successful in its' aim. I would highly recommend this one to anyone willing to watch.
50.) BEAN: THE MOVIE
Preposterous, yes. Utterly Unbelievable, yes. A waste of a good afternoon, no. Rowan Atkinson returns to his BBC character of the absurdly fumbling Mr. Bean. Inept, and goofy, this grotesquely idiotic klutz is responsible for being the care-taker of the invaluable painting "Whistler's Mother". Sent to accompany the painting to L.A. where it will be displayed at a ritzy museum, Bean is mistakenly represented as a genius art-critic and scholar. Teaming up with the museum curator, one screw-up after another puts this priceless painting in harm's way more often than not. Peter MacNicol plays the curator with bug-eyed abandon. Lots of hair-pulling frantic reactions, and "ay-yi-yi" chutzpah make this silly comedy a respectable entry into the BBC oeuvre. Plus, a cameo by Burt Reynolds is never a bad thing.
Admittedly, this post has taken me nearly a week to finish. Most of my digestive issues have solved themselves, and I am in place to enjoy yet another weekend of culinary greatness. I hope this finds each of you well, as there will be lots more where this came from.
Thursday, April 8, 2010
Too Much Billy Bob is Never a Good Thing
It's now that wonderful time of year when the harsh bitterness of winter gives way to the warmth and rejuvenation of spring. As these words are being typed young nubile coeds are taking that annual break from class (both in terms of education and etiquette), and the amorous rites of passion that spur us all are beginning to demand more of our time and attention. There's something just beautiful about this time of year. I've always been of the mindset that the calendar year could officially begin when the temps start to rise. That way you really do feel inspired to tackle that resolution list with the energy and verve that comes with a sunny day and a look nature's good side.
I am happy right now. I have many instances in my life that could certainly be cause for serious reconsideration: the terrible economy's impact on my shrinking wallet, the harsh market that seems to be paying less and less attention to art, the mounting bills, the insurmountable tasks that lay ahead. But despite these annoyances, I am finding myself in more and more chipper moods. Maybe it's the joy of a relationship (which is something in which I constantly marvel), or maybe it's just the thrill of being alive, but I feel genuinely happy as I sit down to post today's reviews. Of course there are things that could bring me down, but I am choosing not to focus on what is bitter, but only on what is sweet.
34.) AWAKENINGS
It's really exciting to see Robin Williams tackle something that isn't pure schtick or rapid-fire mania. While as a comedian, he shines, when he chooses to showcase his ability to utilize subtlety and underplay a character is quite impressive. Based on true events, this film follows the meek Dr. Sayer (Williams) as he finds a "miracle cure" for patients who have been catatonic for many years. Through his eyes, we watch bemusedly as these patients begin to see the world around them. The first patient to enjoy this sensation is Leonard (played with power by the ubiquitous Robert De Niro). Leonard had been in this catatonic state since he was a young boy. Watching him awake to experience the joys and beauty of the world is something that moves your spirit. Admittedly, the scene when he is going through the ward introducing himself to all the caregivers who had been nursing him during his sleep brought tears to my cynical eyes. The message here is somewhat overdone, but it is certainly worth stating: Enjoy life! I thoroughly enjoyed this humble and heartwarming film.
35.) DISTRICT B-13
Not sure where this one came from, but I'm glad it was found. This French action flick is clumsily over-dubbed in awkward English, but the dialogue is quickly forgiven when the intricate fight scenes, and explosive chases take center stage. In the not-so-distant future, Paris is divided into sub-districts with number 13 being specifically reserved for the blight of humanity. It is a walled ghetto that is now overrun with crime and the detritus of a community whose own government has chosen to ignore. Fighting to stay alive and on the proper side of morality is a young man named Leito. After being sent to prison (wrongfully) he is forced to team up with uber-cop Damien to retrieve a nuclear bomb that has been lost within the district. The unlikely duo must karate chop their way to success. Overall, this movie is fairly low-budget with some big-budget action sequences. The plot teeters on the side of the absurd, but the physical feats displayed by Leito and Damien are more than enough to make the movie highly enjoyable. Make some popcorn and pop this disc in for a good night of kickass!
36.) THE BABYSITTERS
Perhaps the social statement here is that women forced to empower themselves at too young an age will only bring about their own destruction. Go-getter Shirley (the mousy, yet sexy Katherine Waterson) comes from a modest home, and supplements her income by babysitting for the wealthy yuppies on the other side of the tracks. Through a misguided affair with one of the fathers of her charges, she learns that she can make money offering more than just her sitting services. She soon enlists other girls into her ring of illicit behaviour. While teenage prostitution is not necessarily the makings of a fun film, the taut drama of normal people losing themselves in their own temptations does make for a compelling watch. John Leguizamo and Cynthia Nixon are self-absorbing n both their roles and their perfomances. This is Lolita for modern audiences who want to forgive Humbert and blame Dolores. It is sexy and erotic in places, but that sensuality is frozen over with the realization that it comes from the exploitation of young girls too naive to understand the years of therapy that will accompany their actions.
37.) BACK TO SCHOOL
Who doesn't enjoy Rodney Dangerfield's self-deprecating commentary on society? His bug-eyes have a way of conveying both awe and appreciation for the inconsistencies of the world outside his car window. Here he plays a mega-millionaire (in the throes of his 80's excess) who decides to go to college to share the academic life with his son. The plot is as contrived as most three-camera sitcoms, but there's a heart in Dangerfield's performance that lets you suffer his foolishness gladly. This is standard 80's fare: gratuitious bikini-clad women with too much hairspray and too little common sense, pseudo-rich takes on the neauveau riche, and uninspired criticisms on proto-philosophy. If you can buy that a school rallies behind its' dive team (even having cheerleaders present for the competitions), then you can believe that Mellon (Dangerfield) can afford to have a paper on Kurt Vonnegut written by Kurt Vonnegut (in an all-too short cameo). A nice distraction is a party performance by Oingo Boingo. It's nice to see Danny Elfman cashing checks that have nothing to do with Tim Burton. This movie is funny in a way that your grandfather's jokes are funny: hilarious, but not always worth repeating.
38.) BAD BOYS II
Ok, so I really don't remember if I ever saw the first Bad Boys film, but I will certainly remember this sequel for some time. This movie has everything that I want in a good popcorn flick: beautiful women, big explosions, witty banter, and the chance to see the bad guy get exactly what's coming to him. Will Smith and Martin Lawrence really do work well together. Sure, this has Hollywood spice written all over it, but that cinematic manipulation is forgiven when the product works. Normally, I find Martin Lawrence to be fourth-rate in his comedy, but he really does stretch himself as a straightman for many scenes (even seeming to enjoy being Will Smith's foil). The plot is standard, but the scope is awesome! While this movie will never be remembered for its' artistic contributions, the lasting effect it holds is that it knows exactly when to go BOOM! This one will definitely find its' way back to my DVD player again.
39.) THE BAD NEWS BEARS (1976)
Disclaimer: this would be the perfect children's movie if it were suitable for children! I remember seeing parts on this movie when the requisite Saturday afternoon family programming would include this in the occasional line-up. I came from a family of baseball lovers, so I'm certain someone would pause the channel surfing just long enough to watch a few minutes of terrible infield play, before moving on to something far more entertaining. I'm really glad that I waited until I was an adult to see this movie in all its glory. Walter Matthau is hilarious as the cynical, drunk, washed-out former ball-player-turned-little-league coach. What I most appreciate about his performance is that he never condescends to the kids on his team. He insults them the same way that he would insult anyone else. To me, that's giving these kids the adult-like respect that helps them overcome their own inadequacy. Tatum O'Neal is adorable, and Jackie Earle Haley is bad-ass enough to make yu believe he could be a juvenile threat. Plus, any movie that advocates childhood drinking is just fine by me.
40.) BAD NEWS BEARS (2005)
There are remakes, and there are reimaginings. Remakes are as closely faithful to the original, reimaginings take the basic story and recreate something almost entirely new. This is more like a rerun. I had really high hopes for this one. Afterall, I think Billy Bob Thornton is a great comic talent. Unfortunately, this is not his greatest opportunity to showcase his dark side. Rife with dialogue taken directly from the 1976 classic (see above), most of this film just struggles to play in the same league as its predecessor. Too bad it should just be sent back to the minors. Granted, there are some funny moments. Greg Kinnear is as smarmy as they come, and Billy Bob Thornton ups the drinking ante laid out by Matthau. Pretty much, this film is a swing and a miss.
41.) BAD(DER) SANTA
I think I have found another holiday film to add to my December collection. I remember seeing the trailers for this movie and thinking that it looked funny, but for some reason or another, I'd let this one escape me. I'm glad I finally watched it. Billy Bob Thornton is oozing with repulsive amorality. His boozing buffoonery is showcased brilliantly in this comic gem. Though there are times when the movie dips into the sweet realm, it never goes maudlin. Especially entertaining are the supporting roles played by Bernie Mac and John Ritter (though both do compel a bit of sadness in recognition of the loss of such great talent). I challenge you to watch the scene in the boxing gym and not laugh as loud as you can.
42.) THE BADGE
The third in my Billy Billy Bob Trilogy for the day. This indie features an odd assortment of actors each contributing more to this film than the screenwriters who threw this oddity together. The plot is loose and almost unimportant in most scenes, but Mr. Thornton, Patricia Arquette, Sela Ward and William Devane each provide real distraction by creating some fascinating moments. Seeing Thomas Hayden Church playing a gay-man playing it straight would be a comic masterstroke (if that were the intent). This movie would have made great dark comedy if the producers hadn't been aiming to make a suspense thriller. Set in the bayou, this tale of tranny-hooker gone wrong has all the makings of cinematic badness. Billy Bob Thornton plays a small-town sheriff (taking a page from the Buford T. Justice book of law) who sees his career, life, and understanding of the world coming quickly undone. My advice, watch this movie while eating your favorite cajun dish and enjoying a tasty hurricane as the movie lacks both spice and punch.
43.) BALLISTIC: ECKS Vs. SEVER
Shit sandwich. (see review 31)
The explosions are big, but pointless. The action is extravagant but uninspired. The performances are, well, non-existent. If you watch this movie, be warned that Antonio Baderas and Lucy Liu will make you hate America...and yourself.
The joy of watching movies has yet to ebb. I'm still in good spirits. Life is still meaningful and wonderful. I've chosen to see my life as an impressionist painting. If you get too close, you're only able to see the cracks and imperfections, and everything is too blurry to make sense. But, if you back up, you get a beautful vision of something that is exciting and delightful to see.
I am happy right now. I have many instances in my life that could certainly be cause for serious reconsideration: the terrible economy's impact on my shrinking wallet, the harsh market that seems to be paying less and less attention to art, the mounting bills, the insurmountable tasks that lay ahead. But despite these annoyances, I am finding myself in more and more chipper moods. Maybe it's the joy of a relationship (which is something in which I constantly marvel), or maybe it's just the thrill of being alive, but I feel genuinely happy as I sit down to post today's reviews. Of course there are things that could bring me down, but I am choosing not to focus on what is bitter, but only on what is sweet.
34.) AWAKENINGS
It's really exciting to see Robin Williams tackle something that isn't pure schtick or rapid-fire mania. While as a comedian, he shines, when he chooses to showcase his ability to utilize subtlety and underplay a character is quite impressive. Based on true events, this film follows the meek Dr. Sayer (Williams) as he finds a "miracle cure" for patients who have been catatonic for many years. Through his eyes, we watch bemusedly as these patients begin to see the world around them. The first patient to enjoy this sensation is Leonard (played with power by the ubiquitous Robert De Niro). Leonard had been in this catatonic state since he was a young boy. Watching him awake to experience the joys and beauty of the world is something that moves your spirit. Admittedly, the scene when he is going through the ward introducing himself to all the caregivers who had been nursing him during his sleep brought tears to my cynical eyes. The message here is somewhat overdone, but it is certainly worth stating: Enjoy life! I thoroughly enjoyed this humble and heartwarming film.
35.) DISTRICT B-13
Not sure where this one came from, but I'm glad it was found. This French action flick is clumsily over-dubbed in awkward English, but the dialogue is quickly forgiven when the intricate fight scenes, and explosive chases take center stage. In the not-so-distant future, Paris is divided into sub-districts with number 13 being specifically reserved for the blight of humanity. It is a walled ghetto that is now overrun with crime and the detritus of a community whose own government has chosen to ignore. Fighting to stay alive and on the proper side of morality is a young man named Leito. After being sent to prison (wrongfully) he is forced to team up with uber-cop Damien to retrieve a nuclear bomb that has been lost within the district. The unlikely duo must karate chop their way to success. Overall, this movie is fairly low-budget with some big-budget action sequences. The plot teeters on the side of the absurd, but the physical feats displayed by Leito and Damien are more than enough to make the movie highly enjoyable. Make some popcorn and pop this disc in for a good night of kickass!
36.) THE BABYSITTERS
Perhaps the social statement here is that women forced to empower themselves at too young an age will only bring about their own destruction. Go-getter Shirley (the mousy, yet sexy Katherine Waterson) comes from a modest home, and supplements her income by babysitting for the wealthy yuppies on the other side of the tracks. Through a misguided affair with one of the fathers of her charges, she learns that she can make money offering more than just her sitting services. She soon enlists other girls into her ring of illicit behaviour. While teenage prostitution is not necessarily the makings of a fun film, the taut drama of normal people losing themselves in their own temptations does make for a compelling watch. John Leguizamo and Cynthia Nixon are self-absorbing n both their roles and their perfomances. This is Lolita for modern audiences who want to forgive Humbert and blame Dolores. It is sexy and erotic in places, but that sensuality is frozen over with the realization that it comes from the exploitation of young girls too naive to understand the years of therapy that will accompany their actions.
37.) BACK TO SCHOOL
Who doesn't enjoy Rodney Dangerfield's self-deprecating commentary on society? His bug-eyes have a way of conveying both awe and appreciation for the inconsistencies of the world outside his car window. Here he plays a mega-millionaire (in the throes of his 80's excess) who decides to go to college to share the academic life with his son. The plot is as contrived as most three-camera sitcoms, but there's a heart in Dangerfield's performance that lets you suffer his foolishness gladly. This is standard 80's fare: gratuitious bikini-clad women with too much hairspray and too little common sense, pseudo-rich takes on the neauveau riche, and uninspired criticisms on proto-philosophy. If you can buy that a school rallies behind its' dive team (even having cheerleaders present for the competitions), then you can believe that Mellon (Dangerfield) can afford to have a paper on Kurt Vonnegut written by Kurt Vonnegut (in an all-too short cameo). A nice distraction is a party performance by Oingo Boingo. It's nice to see Danny Elfman cashing checks that have nothing to do with Tim Burton. This movie is funny in a way that your grandfather's jokes are funny: hilarious, but not always worth repeating.
38.) BAD BOYS II
Ok, so I really don't remember if I ever saw the first Bad Boys film, but I will certainly remember this sequel for some time. This movie has everything that I want in a good popcorn flick: beautiful women, big explosions, witty banter, and the chance to see the bad guy get exactly what's coming to him. Will Smith and Martin Lawrence really do work well together. Sure, this has Hollywood spice written all over it, but that cinematic manipulation is forgiven when the product works. Normally, I find Martin Lawrence to be fourth-rate in his comedy, but he really does stretch himself as a straightman for many scenes (even seeming to enjoy being Will Smith's foil). The plot is standard, but the scope is awesome! While this movie will never be remembered for its' artistic contributions, the lasting effect it holds is that it knows exactly when to go BOOM! This one will definitely find its' way back to my DVD player again.
39.) THE BAD NEWS BEARS (1976)
Disclaimer: this would be the perfect children's movie if it were suitable for children! I remember seeing parts on this movie when the requisite Saturday afternoon family programming would include this in the occasional line-up. I came from a family of baseball lovers, so I'm certain someone would pause the channel surfing just long enough to watch a few minutes of terrible infield play, before moving on to something far more entertaining. I'm really glad that I waited until I was an adult to see this movie in all its glory. Walter Matthau is hilarious as the cynical, drunk, washed-out former ball-player-turned-little-league coach. What I most appreciate about his performance is that he never condescends to the kids on his team. He insults them the same way that he would insult anyone else. To me, that's giving these kids the adult-like respect that helps them overcome their own inadequacy. Tatum O'Neal is adorable, and Jackie Earle Haley is bad-ass enough to make yu believe he could be a juvenile threat. Plus, any movie that advocates childhood drinking is just fine by me.
40.) BAD NEWS BEARS (2005)
There are remakes, and there are reimaginings. Remakes are as closely faithful to the original, reimaginings take the basic story and recreate something almost entirely new. This is more like a rerun. I had really high hopes for this one. Afterall, I think Billy Bob Thornton is a great comic talent. Unfortunately, this is not his greatest opportunity to showcase his dark side. Rife with dialogue taken directly from the 1976 classic (see above), most of this film just struggles to play in the same league as its predecessor. Too bad it should just be sent back to the minors. Granted, there are some funny moments. Greg Kinnear is as smarmy as they come, and Billy Bob Thornton ups the drinking ante laid out by Matthau. Pretty much, this film is a swing and a miss.
41.) BAD(DER) SANTA
I think I have found another holiday film to add to my December collection. I remember seeing the trailers for this movie and thinking that it looked funny, but for some reason or another, I'd let this one escape me. I'm glad I finally watched it. Billy Bob Thornton is oozing with repulsive amorality. His boozing buffoonery is showcased brilliantly in this comic gem. Though there are times when the movie dips into the sweet realm, it never goes maudlin. Especially entertaining are the supporting roles played by Bernie Mac and John Ritter (though both do compel a bit of sadness in recognition of the loss of such great talent). I challenge you to watch the scene in the boxing gym and not laugh as loud as you can.
42.) THE BADGE
The third in my Billy Billy Bob Trilogy for the day. This indie features an odd assortment of actors each contributing more to this film than the screenwriters who threw this oddity together. The plot is loose and almost unimportant in most scenes, but Mr. Thornton, Patricia Arquette, Sela Ward and William Devane each provide real distraction by creating some fascinating moments. Seeing Thomas Hayden Church playing a gay-man playing it straight would be a comic masterstroke (if that were the intent). This movie would have made great dark comedy if the producers hadn't been aiming to make a suspense thriller. Set in the bayou, this tale of tranny-hooker gone wrong has all the makings of cinematic badness. Billy Bob Thornton plays a small-town sheriff (taking a page from the Buford T. Justice book of law) who sees his career, life, and understanding of the world coming quickly undone. My advice, watch this movie while eating your favorite cajun dish and enjoying a tasty hurricane as the movie lacks both spice and punch.
43.) BALLISTIC: ECKS Vs. SEVER
Shit sandwich. (see review 31)
The explosions are big, but pointless. The action is extravagant but uninspired. The performances are, well, non-existent. If you watch this movie, be warned that Antonio Baderas and Lucy Liu will make you hate America...and yourself.
The joy of watching movies has yet to ebb. I'm still in good spirits. Life is still meaningful and wonderful. I've chosen to see my life as an impressionist painting. If you get too close, you're only able to see the cracks and imperfections, and everything is too blurry to make sense. But, if you back up, you get a beautful vision of something that is exciting and delightful to see.
Thursday, March 25, 2010
The Road Less Travelled is Such for A Good Reason
Yesterday was a beautiful day. There's something thrilling about spring creeping its' verdant way into the new year. The sun was shining, the temps were in the low 70's, and everything was peaceful and right in the world. A few of us ventured out to a park and enjoyed a great afternoon of playing bocce and croquet. These are gentlemen's games, but not necessarily the way we play them. I remember back in college, there was a sort of "free-for-all" viciousness that could erupt over a genteel game where one tosses balls. The idea of "full-contact psyche-outs" made the game much more entertaining. The amount of trash talk that occurs during one of these rounds is equal to that of any prison yard basketball pickup game. I, personally, revel in the cutthroat level of play that we enjoy. This is what camraderie is all about.
So, as the weather is making it more tempting to go outside and play, I am finding it a bit distracting to keep up with my little project here. Nevertheless, I am still making headway (and hoping for rainy days). I have finished all the "A's" and am now working steadfastly on the "B's" (in addition to some skipping around that I will ocassionally do). As I'm currently packing to go see my niece and nephew, I will dilly-dally no further and get on to the good stuff!
29.) ASH WEDNESDAY
A low-budget indie starring the doe-eyed Elijah Wood, and the jaded Edward Burns, this movie tells of brotherly devotion, and the moral conviction to hold family in the highest esteem. Wood's character, Sean Sullivan, is killed by a mob hit on Ash Wednesday in 1980. Three years later, he is being spotted walking around his old neighborhood in Hell's Kitchen. His older brother, Francis (Burns), is accosted by their mutual enemies wanting to know if Sean is really dead. We learn that this is truly the case as his death had been faked, and Sean has returned from hiding to collect his wife (Rosario Dawson), not knowing that she has been kindling an affair with his brother. This movie has all the makings of a great source of intrigue, however it falls short of being too interesting. It's tough to see Frodo as a real threat, or the man that Rosario Dawson would choose over the machismo-exuding Edward Burns. This movie also confirms my suspicions that no one takes Oliver Platt seriously. He struggles to fill the role of street-hardened gangster. As in most of his movies, he falls ridiculously short. Not a terrible movie. Good for a bad-weather distraction.
30.) ASSAULT ON PRECINCT 13
This movie has a very Die Hard feel to it. Maybe the snowy Detroit setting, the New Year's Eve party plans interupted plot, or the one-man versus his demons characterizations give this flick an "all-too-familiar" auld lang syne. Shot as a big-budget action epic, it seems that director was more interested in getting from gun fight to gun fight to pause to question (as his audience frequently does) why the hell is this happening in the first place? Laurence Fishburne is compelling as a ruthless, cop-killing, crime lord whose arrest is news item number 1. He, along with a few petty criminals, are headed for processing when a vicious blizzard causes their route to be detoured to the dilapidated Precinct 13 (scheduled for immediate closing). His presence brings on the threat of assassination by a group of para-military hitmen bent on keeping him out of prison, and dead to the world. Ethan Hawke is a fine actor when it comes to dramatic subtext, and tortured artist syndrome. Ethan Hawke is not an action star. His attempt at waxing heroic is way too distracting to bring the movie into the realm of being considered on par with the aforemention Die Hard franchise. It's a popcorn movie that needed a little extra salt and butter to be truly appetizing. Though, watching John Leguizamo take a bullet to the brain was, in some small way, very fulfilling to anyone who has been forced to watch his stand-up specials.
31.) THE ASTRONAUT'S WIFE
Should someone coerce you into watching this film, end your friendship with this person immediately. I am reminded of a great moment from This Is Spinal Tap when Rob Reiner is discussing some of the band's more cruel reviews. He quotes one for their Album Shark Sandwich as being only two words: "Shit Sandwich". I have taken this reference and used in my personal life to describe any book, movie, album, play, or whatnot that warrants a swift execution of thought. Suffice it to say, when I think of this confusing, trite, and utterly awkward attempt at Sci-Fi (featuring a Charlize Theron who doesn't get naked, and a Johnny Depp who has never heard a real Southern Accent in his life) the only thing that comes to mind is: "Shit Sandwich".
32.) ATTILA
Made by USA Pictures, this feature was originally aired on the USA Network back in 2000. This is supposed to be a sweeping epic telling the life story of the much-feared "Scourge of God", Attila the Hun. Instead, this is a half-hearted costume party where orgies consist of fully-clothed women doing the "Skinemax body rub" on each other, and Roman Soldiers dressed like they walked straight out of Caesar's Palace. If you can believe that this Attila (played by a Gerard Butler that would have been stomped by his own 300 character) could bring the Roman Empire to its' knees, then you can believe that Powers Boothe is a convincing actor outside of Tombstone. The action scenes are big, but when the camera goes in close, you can clearly seen men hitting their choreography in a precise fashion. This movie is history in the way that National Geographic is porn. Not to mention that it clocks in at 3 hours! Tim Curry, though, is fairly entertaining.
33.) THE AVIATOR
Seeing this title, I got a little excited that I was in for something akin to the highly entertaining Howard Hughes Bio-pic from a few years ago. Alas, this is no relative. This movie tells of the early days of the Airmail service, and the struggles that pilots had to endure in the days before radios, blackboxes, and air traffic control. Starring Christopher Reeve as the troubled pilot in charge of escorting the precocious Rosanna Arquette to her new home away from her own bespotted past, this film is hailed as "High-Flying Action and Heartwarming Romance". I would have believed that tagline if I had seen it underneath Superman. But, I saw neither of the two. Reeve and Arquette are passable in their performances, though both have done far superior work elsewhere. There was something a little sobering about seeing the tragic Reeve limping in a scene after being mauled by a wolf. Knowing where that actor's life would one day take him, I felt a little twinge of sadness for him. Overall, this would be good Hallmark fare. Not much else.
I now log-off this post with the happiness that seeing my family usually brings. I will carry my latest conversation with SVC as a source of pride as I journey north for the next few days. I hope the weather is nice, and I can one day expose my nephew to all sorts of cinematic corruption.
So, as the weather is making it more tempting to go outside and play, I am finding it a bit distracting to keep up with my little project here. Nevertheless, I am still making headway (and hoping for rainy days). I have finished all the "A's" and am now working steadfastly on the "B's" (in addition to some skipping around that I will ocassionally do). As I'm currently packing to go see my niece and nephew, I will dilly-dally no further and get on to the good stuff!
29.) ASH WEDNESDAY
A low-budget indie starring the doe-eyed Elijah Wood, and the jaded Edward Burns, this movie tells of brotherly devotion, and the moral conviction to hold family in the highest esteem. Wood's character, Sean Sullivan, is killed by a mob hit on Ash Wednesday in 1980. Three years later, he is being spotted walking around his old neighborhood in Hell's Kitchen. His older brother, Francis (Burns), is accosted by their mutual enemies wanting to know if Sean is really dead. We learn that this is truly the case as his death had been faked, and Sean has returned from hiding to collect his wife (Rosario Dawson), not knowing that she has been kindling an affair with his brother. This movie has all the makings of a great source of intrigue, however it falls short of being too interesting. It's tough to see Frodo as a real threat, or the man that Rosario Dawson would choose over the machismo-exuding Edward Burns. This movie also confirms my suspicions that no one takes Oliver Platt seriously. He struggles to fill the role of street-hardened gangster. As in most of his movies, he falls ridiculously short. Not a terrible movie. Good for a bad-weather distraction.
30.) ASSAULT ON PRECINCT 13
This movie has a very Die Hard feel to it. Maybe the snowy Detroit setting, the New Year's Eve party plans interupted plot, or the one-man versus his demons characterizations give this flick an "all-too-familiar" auld lang syne. Shot as a big-budget action epic, it seems that director was more interested in getting from gun fight to gun fight to pause to question (as his audience frequently does) why the hell is this happening in the first place? Laurence Fishburne is compelling as a ruthless, cop-killing, crime lord whose arrest is news item number 1. He, along with a few petty criminals, are headed for processing when a vicious blizzard causes their route to be detoured to the dilapidated Precinct 13 (scheduled for immediate closing). His presence brings on the threat of assassination by a group of para-military hitmen bent on keeping him out of prison, and dead to the world. Ethan Hawke is a fine actor when it comes to dramatic subtext, and tortured artist syndrome. Ethan Hawke is not an action star. His attempt at waxing heroic is way too distracting to bring the movie into the realm of being considered on par with the aforemention Die Hard franchise. It's a popcorn movie that needed a little extra salt and butter to be truly appetizing. Though, watching John Leguizamo take a bullet to the brain was, in some small way, very fulfilling to anyone who has been forced to watch his stand-up specials.
31.) THE ASTRONAUT'S WIFE
Should someone coerce you into watching this film, end your friendship with this person immediately. I am reminded of a great moment from This Is Spinal Tap when Rob Reiner is discussing some of the band's more cruel reviews. He quotes one for their Album Shark Sandwich as being only two words: "Shit Sandwich". I have taken this reference and used in my personal life to describe any book, movie, album, play, or whatnot that warrants a swift execution of thought. Suffice it to say, when I think of this confusing, trite, and utterly awkward attempt at Sci-Fi (featuring a Charlize Theron who doesn't get naked, and a Johnny Depp who has never heard a real Southern Accent in his life) the only thing that comes to mind is: "Shit Sandwich".
32.) ATTILA
Made by USA Pictures, this feature was originally aired on the USA Network back in 2000. This is supposed to be a sweeping epic telling the life story of the much-feared "Scourge of God", Attila the Hun. Instead, this is a half-hearted costume party where orgies consist of fully-clothed women doing the "Skinemax body rub" on each other, and Roman Soldiers dressed like they walked straight out of Caesar's Palace. If you can believe that this Attila (played by a Gerard Butler that would have been stomped by his own 300 character) could bring the Roman Empire to its' knees, then you can believe that Powers Boothe is a convincing actor outside of Tombstone. The action scenes are big, but when the camera goes in close, you can clearly seen men hitting their choreography in a precise fashion. This movie is history in the way that National Geographic is porn. Not to mention that it clocks in at 3 hours! Tim Curry, though, is fairly entertaining.
33.) THE AVIATOR
Seeing this title, I got a little excited that I was in for something akin to the highly entertaining Howard Hughes Bio-pic from a few years ago. Alas, this is no relative. This movie tells of the early days of the Airmail service, and the struggles that pilots had to endure in the days before radios, blackboxes, and air traffic control. Starring Christopher Reeve as the troubled pilot in charge of escorting the precocious Rosanna Arquette to her new home away from her own bespotted past, this film is hailed as "High-Flying Action and Heartwarming Romance". I would have believed that tagline if I had seen it underneath Superman. But, I saw neither of the two. Reeve and Arquette are passable in their performances, though both have done far superior work elsewhere. There was something a little sobering about seeing the tragic Reeve limping in a scene after being mauled by a wolf. Knowing where that actor's life would one day take him, I felt a little twinge of sadness for him. Overall, this would be good Hallmark fare. Not much else.
I now log-off this post with the happiness that seeing my family usually brings. I will carry my latest conversation with SVC as a source of pride as I journey north for the next few days. I hope the weather is nice, and I can one day expose my nephew to all sorts of cinematic corruption.
Monday, March 22, 2010
Just Passing Cloud Eight
Some days are marked as great because of some monumental occurence. Others are designated as such because of recognition or realization. I'd say it was safe to call my weekend rather great due to the latter. I am very blessed to have a special lady friend. Suffice it to say, she is my best friend. I feel better about what's happening in my day-to-day after I've spoken with her. This weekend, we got to spend some real quality time in deep conversation. While nothing monumental occurred during our weekend (spent in separate states, mind you), I did come to some rather delightful conclusions about our relationship that make me feel pretty confident about where my life is going. Though, I almost blew it Saturday night, she is forgiving enough of my own stupidity to warrant keeping me around. For that, I am forever grateful.
I apologize for gushing, but I do feel that there is a comfortable outlet here for my musings. Though, I would suspect most of you are ready for me to move on to the movie reviews. Since I aim not to disappoint, I will dispense with revelling in my own good fortune, and now turn my attention to a fascinating assortment of gems.
24.) ANTIGONE: RITES OF PASSION
I guess I was bound to run into one of these "Art House Flicks" before too long. This feeble attempt at making something thoughtful and provoking is laughable. Seriously, this movie is terrible and has as much artistic credibility as QVC. Told through visual pictures with no dialogue, only voice-overs. At some points it would appear that the characters are performing choreographed movement. At all points this looks like it was done on a budget of Ramen Noodles and luke-warm 7-up. It looks like it was filmed on location at the nearest landfill (which is ironic since that would be the place where the finished product could join the careers of those responsible for making this). Based partially on the works of Sophocles, it would appear that this movie's main message is "if it works fine as it is, then drudge it through some half-ass pretensions and throw in some screeching soprano screams for a soundtrack and you're guaranteed to have a hit". No thank you.
25) APOLLO 13
I'm not sure why I waited so long to watch this. This was a great blockbuster, with a high entertainment value. It was fascinating to see how Ron Howard captured the true infancy of the American Space program. I suppose my generation takes these achievements for granted, but this film reminded me that scientific breakthroughs, oftentimes with the crudest of tools, are still noteworthy and should be applauded. I felt like I was a crewmember suffering through the coldness of space with Tom Hanks, Bill Paxton, and the ubiquitous Kevin Bacon. It is remarkable when a filmmaker can still draw tension and suspense from a story that is widely known. I'm sure this will find its' way back into the DVD player before too long.
26.) APT PUPIL
Back when I was a teacher, I used to spend part of the third quarter dealing specifically with the Holocaust. The reading list varied from year to year, but it always included Night by Elie Wiesel. In addition to reading, I would usually do a two-week film festival with the students. I would show whatever the latest documentaries were out, and usually wrap things up with Schindler's List and then Life is Beautiful so we could have a promise of hope for the future. After watching Apt Pupil, I kind of wish I was still teaching so I could expose my students to this chilling piece. Based on a short story by Stephen King (which is always good fodder), this movie deals with a young scholar who gets in over his head when he discovers a Nazi War Criminal living down the street. Ian McKellan is truly frightening as the horrific monster who's been emasculated by time. Brad Renfro's performance reminded me that he had a brilliant career potential before his life was cut short by unfortunate choices ending with the tragedy of a heroin overdose in 2008. I think Hollywood lost a bright talent that day.
27.) AROUND THE WORLD IN 80 DAYS
Occasionally I can forgive Disney for rendering a vibrant story impotent by dumbing it down for a "family-friendly" audience. This is not one of those times. There is nothing about this movie that doesn't scream as a blatant insult to its' audience. Jules Verne's novel figures no where in this telling of a mad scientist's attempt at circumnavigating the globe in a timely manner. Instead, this is nothing more than a star-vehicle for Jackie Chan and Steve Coogan. Granted, both stars are entertaining, and their unique personalities and gifts provide the only saving graces for this otherwise trite distraction. I won't spend much time on this one since the filmmakers obviously didn't. Though, there is one humorous moment when, during yet another chase scene, an old woman does a face plant right off a wall. It warranted an "L" that was almost "OL"
28.) ART SCHOOL CONFIDENTIAL
My college roommate was an art student. He was also one of the funniest persons I have ever known. He did have his quirks, though. I suppose if he reads this he'll point out the dark color of my kettle. Watching this movie reminded me the versatility of artists and their aim for "mystique". Art students aren't always as cool as they think they are (though in my real life case, he was pretty badass). This movie made me want to go out and encourage each of the "artists" to go get laid. There is something absurd, though, about the plot of a struggling artist's attempt to make his splash in the art world any way he can. It says a lot about the old adage "Art is in the eye of the beholder". In this case, I think I'll be holdin' a different movie. Granted, the scenes where the nude figure models showed up made the canvas a little more palettable.
I find myself staring a long week in the face. Yet, I feel, as I began this post, that I have a great source of inspiration. SVC, I can't wait to watch some more movies with you soon! Until then, the outlook is tolerable.
I apologize for gushing, but I do feel that there is a comfortable outlet here for my musings. Though, I would suspect most of you are ready for me to move on to the movie reviews. Since I aim not to disappoint, I will dispense with revelling in my own good fortune, and now turn my attention to a fascinating assortment of gems.
24.) ANTIGONE: RITES OF PASSION
I guess I was bound to run into one of these "Art House Flicks" before too long. This feeble attempt at making something thoughtful and provoking is laughable. Seriously, this movie is terrible and has as much artistic credibility as QVC. Told through visual pictures with no dialogue, only voice-overs. At some points it would appear that the characters are performing choreographed movement. At all points this looks like it was done on a budget of Ramen Noodles and luke-warm 7-up. It looks like it was filmed on location at the nearest landfill (which is ironic since that would be the place where the finished product could join the careers of those responsible for making this). Based partially on the works of Sophocles, it would appear that this movie's main message is "if it works fine as it is, then drudge it through some half-ass pretensions and throw in some screeching soprano screams for a soundtrack and you're guaranteed to have a hit". No thank you.
25) APOLLO 13
I'm not sure why I waited so long to watch this. This was a great blockbuster, with a high entertainment value. It was fascinating to see how Ron Howard captured the true infancy of the American Space program. I suppose my generation takes these achievements for granted, but this film reminded me that scientific breakthroughs, oftentimes with the crudest of tools, are still noteworthy and should be applauded. I felt like I was a crewmember suffering through the coldness of space with Tom Hanks, Bill Paxton, and the ubiquitous Kevin Bacon. It is remarkable when a filmmaker can still draw tension and suspense from a story that is widely known. I'm sure this will find its' way back into the DVD player before too long.
26.) APT PUPIL
Back when I was a teacher, I used to spend part of the third quarter dealing specifically with the Holocaust. The reading list varied from year to year, but it always included Night by Elie Wiesel. In addition to reading, I would usually do a two-week film festival with the students. I would show whatever the latest documentaries were out, and usually wrap things up with Schindler's List and then Life is Beautiful so we could have a promise of hope for the future. After watching Apt Pupil, I kind of wish I was still teaching so I could expose my students to this chilling piece. Based on a short story by Stephen King (which is always good fodder), this movie deals with a young scholar who gets in over his head when he discovers a Nazi War Criminal living down the street. Ian McKellan is truly frightening as the horrific monster who's been emasculated by time. Brad Renfro's performance reminded me that he had a brilliant career potential before his life was cut short by unfortunate choices ending with the tragedy of a heroin overdose in 2008. I think Hollywood lost a bright talent that day.
27.) AROUND THE WORLD IN 80 DAYS
Occasionally I can forgive Disney for rendering a vibrant story impotent by dumbing it down for a "family-friendly" audience. This is not one of those times. There is nothing about this movie that doesn't scream as a blatant insult to its' audience. Jules Verne's novel figures no where in this telling of a mad scientist's attempt at circumnavigating the globe in a timely manner. Instead, this is nothing more than a star-vehicle for Jackie Chan and Steve Coogan. Granted, both stars are entertaining, and their unique personalities and gifts provide the only saving graces for this otherwise trite distraction. I won't spend much time on this one since the filmmakers obviously didn't. Though, there is one humorous moment when, during yet another chase scene, an old woman does a face plant right off a wall. It warranted an "L" that was almost "OL"
28.) ART SCHOOL CONFIDENTIAL
My college roommate was an art student. He was also one of the funniest persons I have ever known. He did have his quirks, though. I suppose if he reads this he'll point out the dark color of my kettle. Watching this movie reminded me the versatility of artists and their aim for "mystique". Art students aren't always as cool as they think they are (though in my real life case, he was pretty badass). This movie made me want to go out and encourage each of the "artists" to go get laid. There is something absurd, though, about the plot of a struggling artist's attempt to make his splash in the art world any way he can. It says a lot about the old adage "Art is in the eye of the beholder". In this case, I think I'll be holdin' a different movie. Granted, the scenes where the nude figure models showed up made the canvas a little more palettable.
I find myself staring a long week in the face. Yet, I feel, as I began this post, that I have a great source of inspiration. SVC, I can't wait to watch some more movies with you soon! Until then, the outlook is tolerable.
Friday, March 19, 2010
Angels, Devils, and Bad Hygiene
Through the green haze provided by the colored hops of several pints of St. Paddie's Day Ale, I paused from digesting my corned beef and cabbage to attend my fourth funeral of 2010. I have seen some great men pass, so far this year. In the midst of all this, I've had plenty of time to contemplate my own mortality. Life is funny. Death is inevitable. Somewhere, in between, there are times to watch our fleeting, tentative, and shifting existence cry out for meaning. While this philosophical rambling has landed me many opportunities to realize the things for which I should be ever thankful. I have been blessed with an amazing, loving family. I got the chance to extend a warm embrace to my niece as she entered this world. I have found myself completely altering my definition of happiness as every conversation with SVC ends with me feeling better about myself and life in general. Though we live in different cities, the hopes of watching more movies with her is motivation enough to handle any situation I've yet encountered. I have good friends that take great care of me. I have theatre, who is always a loving and caring mistress. And, I have a massive movie collection to keep the idea of ennui out of business in my home.
19.) ANGEL HEART
Years ago, I remember watching an episode of E! Television's True Hollywood Story on The Cosby Show. This program alluded to a career choice that Lisa Bonet made in the early days of the show's existence that caused a rift between her and her onscreen father. I somehow missed the title of the film, but knew that it had some controversial subject matter that the Cos did not appreciate. I sat down, put in this disc and suddenly knew why Denise became a peripheral player after only a few seasons. This movie should have been utterly forgettable (despite boasting performances from Robert De Niro and Mickey Rourke) but for the soft-core scenes depicting a writhing and possessed Cosby kid. The plot is as convoluted as a Sarah Palin campaign speech. Mickey Rourke is private detective hired by an enigmatic De Niro (boasting some extra-creepy fingernails) to find a jazz crooner who has gone missing and owes a debt to the mole-man. Through plot twists that make as much sense as the previous sentence, our gumshoe tracks his singer to the depths of New Orleans' Voodoo country. Somehow, a bargain with the devil is revealed, and Mickey Rourke chews scenery like the starving actor he would one day become. C- for the movie B+ for seeing why Lennie Kravitz had so much fun in the early days of his career.
20.) ANGELS IN AMERICA Pts 1 & 2 (Millenium Approaches & Perestroika)
This epic, made-for-HBO marathon is breathtaking in both its scope and storytelling. The All-Star cast features some outstanding performances by Al Pacino, Meryl Streep, Emma Thompson, Ben Shenkman, Patrick Wilson, and Justin Kirke. However, what left me feeling utterly amazed was what Mary-Louise Parker and Jeffrey Wright were able to do to lift this film from the realm of "good adaptation" to "magnificent cinema". Taken from TonyKushner's two award-winning plays, this miniseries was originally going to go into this post as two separate parts. After much deliberation, I felt that doing that would have made as much sense as separating two acts of the same play. Clocking in at nearly six-hours, this is no easy watch. However, the story completely enveloped me and I found the time passing with much ease. I had read the plays for a drama course back in college. Unfortunately, I have never seen either one in production. After watching this movie, these plays just jumped up on the list of shows I want to produce before I die. Truly amazing! Each day is truly a gift. And this message couldn't have come at a better time in my life
21.)ANGELS WITH DIRTY FACES
This is a great classic featuring James Cagney, Humphrey Bogart, Ann Sheridan, and Pat O'Brien. Admittedly, I have seen parts of this movie over the years. Though, everytime I would stumble upon (usually late at night on TMC), I was only able to catch certain parts. I have been wanting to view the whole thing for some time now. This was remedied when I settled in with some popcorn, Sam Adams, and an hour and a half of great movie-making from Hollywood's heyday. Telling the story of two childhood friends who have taken disparate life-journeys, this film offers a great moral: there is good in all of us. Sure the dialogue is antiquated, and the plot takes a few leaps that require your disbelief to be suspended just a litte more, but this I thoroughly enjoyed this gem.
22.) ANGER MANAGEMENT
I almost skipped over this one because I had seen almost half 0f it when it first came out, and had no real desire to finish what had been started. Thankfully, I gave it another chance. For all intents and purposes, this is another trite Adam Sandler vehicle where he plays his man-child alter-ego right into the contrived world of zany situations that must have a lesson to be learned somewhere. The real comedy doesn't come from Sandler (though he does have a few grin-worthy moments), but from his co-star Jack Nicholson. There's something rewarding about seeing an actor who has intimidated and frightened you perform a role that is shameless. Watching Jack as the scheming psychologist who is assigned to help Sandler's character assuage his own brewing angst, is like watching De Niro in Meet the Parents: you're glad he had a great career before this film, because there's no way to respect him now. It was more entertaining than I anticipated. Probably won't warrant a repeat viewing.
23.) ANIMATRIX
Ok, so this is really just a collection of short films, but this disc was next on the shelve. And, I felt I would be betraying the spirit of this project if I started making justifications on what qualifies as a "movie". 9 animated shorts that fill in the gaps and flesh out the world of The Matrix films. I'm really not a fan of Anime, but I do respect it as an art form. Plus, they usually animate women with very little clothing. Some of these were better than others. The first four were written by the Wachowski brothers, so their relevance is clear and entertaining. Overall, I was glad these were only short films. The final installment, "Matriculated" is just terrible.
The real irony of this week's entries is that four of the six films include the word "angel" in their titles. Dealing with the ups and downs of life like I have had to do in the past few weeks, I can't help but feel the warmth of a few angels in my own life. At the risk of giving Hallmark a run for it's client-base, I will gush and say that I'm thankful for my own guardians of peace and love. "May flights of angels sing you to your rest".
19.) ANGEL HEART
Years ago, I remember watching an episode of E! Television's True Hollywood Story on The Cosby Show. This program alluded to a career choice that Lisa Bonet made in the early days of the show's existence that caused a rift between her and her onscreen father. I somehow missed the title of the film, but knew that it had some controversial subject matter that the Cos did not appreciate. I sat down, put in this disc and suddenly knew why Denise became a peripheral player after only a few seasons. This movie should have been utterly forgettable (despite boasting performances from Robert De Niro and Mickey Rourke) but for the soft-core scenes depicting a writhing and possessed Cosby kid. The plot is as convoluted as a Sarah Palin campaign speech. Mickey Rourke is private detective hired by an enigmatic De Niro (boasting some extra-creepy fingernails) to find a jazz crooner who has gone missing and owes a debt to the mole-man. Through plot twists that make as much sense as the previous sentence, our gumshoe tracks his singer to the depths of New Orleans' Voodoo country. Somehow, a bargain with the devil is revealed, and Mickey Rourke chews scenery like the starving actor he would one day become. C- for the movie B+ for seeing why Lennie Kravitz had so much fun in the early days of his career.
20.) ANGELS IN AMERICA Pts 1 & 2 (Millenium Approaches & Perestroika)
This epic, made-for-HBO marathon is breathtaking in both its scope and storytelling. The All-Star cast features some outstanding performances by Al Pacino, Meryl Streep, Emma Thompson, Ben Shenkman, Patrick Wilson, and Justin Kirke. However, what left me feeling utterly amazed was what Mary-Louise Parker and Jeffrey Wright were able to do to lift this film from the realm of "good adaptation" to "magnificent cinema". Taken from TonyKushner's two award-winning plays, this miniseries was originally going to go into this post as two separate parts. After much deliberation, I felt that doing that would have made as much sense as separating two acts of the same play. Clocking in at nearly six-hours, this is no easy watch. However, the story completely enveloped me and I found the time passing with much ease. I had read the plays for a drama course back in college. Unfortunately, I have never seen either one in production. After watching this movie, these plays just jumped up on the list of shows I want to produce before I die. Truly amazing! Each day is truly a gift. And this message couldn't have come at a better time in my life
21.)ANGELS WITH DIRTY FACES
This is a great classic featuring James Cagney, Humphrey Bogart, Ann Sheridan, and Pat O'Brien. Admittedly, I have seen parts of this movie over the years. Though, everytime I would stumble upon (usually late at night on TMC), I was only able to catch certain parts. I have been wanting to view the whole thing for some time now. This was remedied when I settled in with some popcorn, Sam Adams, and an hour and a half of great movie-making from Hollywood's heyday. Telling the story of two childhood friends who have taken disparate life-journeys, this film offers a great moral: there is good in all of us. Sure the dialogue is antiquated, and the plot takes a few leaps that require your disbelief to be suspended just a litte more, but this I thoroughly enjoyed this gem.
22.) ANGER MANAGEMENT
I almost skipped over this one because I had seen almost half 0f it when it first came out, and had no real desire to finish what had been started. Thankfully, I gave it another chance. For all intents and purposes, this is another trite Adam Sandler vehicle where he plays his man-child alter-ego right into the contrived world of zany situations that must have a lesson to be learned somewhere. The real comedy doesn't come from Sandler (though he does have a few grin-worthy moments), but from his co-star Jack Nicholson. There's something rewarding about seeing an actor who has intimidated and frightened you perform a role that is shameless. Watching Jack as the scheming psychologist who is assigned to help Sandler's character assuage his own brewing angst, is like watching De Niro in Meet the Parents: you're glad he had a great career before this film, because there's no way to respect him now. It was more entertaining than I anticipated. Probably won't warrant a repeat viewing.
23.) ANIMATRIX
Ok, so this is really just a collection of short films, but this disc was next on the shelve. And, I felt I would be betraying the spirit of this project if I started making justifications on what qualifies as a "movie". 9 animated shorts that fill in the gaps and flesh out the world of The Matrix films. I'm really not a fan of Anime, but I do respect it as an art form. Plus, they usually animate women with very little clothing. Some of these were better than others. The first four were written by the Wachowski brothers, so their relevance is clear and entertaining. Overall, I was glad these were only short films. The final installment, "Matriculated" is just terrible.
The real irony of this week's entries is that four of the six films include the word "angel" in their titles. Dealing with the ups and downs of life like I have had to do in the past few weeks, I can't help but feel the warmth of a few angels in my own life. At the risk of giving Hallmark a run for it's client-base, I will gush and say that I'm thankful for my own guardians of peace and love. "May flights of angels sing you to your rest".
Monday, March 15, 2010
Don't Put the Word "American" in Your Title if Your Movie Was Made in Canada.
Once again, I find myself thinking more about the weather than about world-changing events. I have to wonder if this is putting me closer to Shady Oaks than to beach filled with co-eds on a spring break journey to make jaegermeister's stock soar. Regardless, I can't help but contemplate on the beauty that was this weekend's picturesque climate. Beautiful blue skies, temperatures that were neither hot nor cold. It was something akin to what Goldilocks must look for in planning her vacation destination: just right.
Getting out and shaking off the wintry melancholy, I found that this preview of spring was just what I needed to feel reminded that, even the most bleak must end. Life is a cycle, and my chains are well-greased. Today's post will feature some more movie reviews (as I'm sticking to last week's promise of being more consistent with progress reports). I am currently filling my brain with so much minutiae of the hollywood sort that I'm not sure there'll be room for important details like the recipe for the world's greatest sandwich, or Sexy Viewing Companion's address (the former is safely tucked away in my pantry and the latter will never be forgotten on pain of death or detachment). That being said, I suppose I should make more room in the video respository by emptying out my thoughts on the next set of gems.
14.) THE AMATEURS
"The Dude Makes A Porno". What a familiar story. It would appear that if you should ever find yourself in dire financial straits, then the best way to bolster your withering bank account would be to make (or star in) an adult film. This incarnation is not really different from the likes of Zak and Miri Make a Porno or Barely Legal, except that we have a cast of fifty-somethings that are hoping this journey of self-discovery will include video footage of a nubile co-ed doing some discovery of her own self. Not a particularly bad film, it does feature some nice comic turns from Joe Pantoliano, William Fichtner, Ted Danson, and, of course, Jeff Bridges. Our man Lebowski is a down-on-his-luck divorced father. Wanting to prove that he is just as capable of providing for his pre-teen son as the boy's new stepfather, he enlists his friends (small-town folk who are known to join him on his schemes du jour) to make a porno, sell it, and reap the benefits of being a successful filmmaker. Easy? Well, not if you want a plot for this movie! The humor is somewhat contrived, and the sex scenes are a bit awkward (seeing Ted Danson's bare ass is enough to keep you away from solid foods for a week), but the movie does have heart. And that must count for something.
15.) AMERICAN CRIME
To be honest, I'm not really sure what this movie is about. This is one of the most slapdash attempts at storytelling since Hulk Hogan lost his championship because there was a fake referee. The plot (as far as I could gather) centered around employees at a local news station who were following the abductions and murders of women who were stalked before meeting their demise. The young reporter who is covering the story finds herself also being stalked prior to her own disappearance! A syndicated TV show entitled "American Crime" begins to follow this story as it has now developed into this odd little meta-world. The host of the show comes to this small town hoping to offer support, but finds that his methods are not appreciated. How it got there to the ending (SPOILER ALERT) where we find that the syndicated host is actually the killer is quite beyond me. The story is ludicrous, and everyone associated with it should be prepared to kiss their careers goodbye. Cary Elwes plays the host in the most non-sensical attempt at character idiosyncracies ever captured on celluloid. His British accent is attrociocious (and he's from ENGLAND!!) He sounds like he's auditioning for a low-budget Dickens remake. Cary, the next time your agent requests that you read for a film of this schlock, please do not answer "As you wish".
16.) AMERICAN CRUDE
Perhaps I was several tankards into a good (read terrible) box of wine, but this movie was utterly unwatchable. It started off as a morality tale told by an idiot (played with grace and smarm by Ron Livingston), but somehow rambled into a convoluted heist-caper-comedy-of-errors-crapfest of biblical proportions. Any movie featuring Rob Schneider as the dramatic foil is not starting off well. Michael Clarke Duncan and Jennifer Esposito should both rush to the nearest confessional and request a serious pennance for their ludicrous turn as lovers on the lam. Missi Pyle plays a transsexual, what else can I say?
17.) AMERICAN HISTORY X
I'm sure you're probably wondering how a sensitive intellectual like me has overlooked this movie for so long. It has been recommended for years, but I put it aside for reasons that now seem trite and petty. I owe a serious apology to everyone who ever told me that I should see this movie. I regret missing it, and I am now thankful that I have experienced what can only be described as "powerful". The message is there, but the fuzziness of an afterschool special is thankfully missing. Edward Norton gives the performance of a lifetime. I'm not going to ramble or gush on this one, but I will heavily encourage those of you looking for something potent to see to put this one in immediately.
18.) AMISTAD
This was a good movie. It had just enough of the hollywood gloss to give it the requisite scope, but there was a true honesty that this historical drama carried that really made it watchable. Based on historical events, this movie (another one that falls into that category of movies that I really should have seen prior to this experiment) tells the harrowing story of the Africans who rose up against their slave captors and fought for their own freedom and the trial that ensued. I was impressed. While Matthew McConaughey really should stick to the cupcake films he's best known for, he did an admirable job as the defending attorney. Djimon Honsou is always impressive as his figure commands your attention when he walks into frame. This one bears a resonance that was refreshing without being too quaint or self-serving. The montage of events that transpired from the Africans' enslavement all the way to their mutiny is nothing short of horrific, but moving. The best actors know how to tell a story with their eyes. Djimon Honsou spun hours of fables without saying a single word of English.
I am still promising to keep these posts up-to-date. I know I have reels to watch before I sleep, but I am feeling confident so far. I have just reached the "50" mark in viewing. 10% down. Much more to go. In the meantime, I think I will enjoy the clouds smiling at me as I take this show outside.
Cheers!
Getting out and shaking off the wintry melancholy, I found that this preview of spring was just what I needed to feel reminded that, even the most bleak must end. Life is a cycle, and my chains are well-greased. Today's post will feature some more movie reviews (as I'm sticking to last week's promise of being more consistent with progress reports). I am currently filling my brain with so much minutiae of the hollywood sort that I'm not sure there'll be room for important details like the recipe for the world's greatest sandwich, or Sexy Viewing Companion's address (the former is safely tucked away in my pantry and the latter will never be forgotten on pain of death or detachment). That being said, I suppose I should make more room in the video respository by emptying out my thoughts on the next set of gems.
14.) THE AMATEURS
"The Dude Makes A Porno". What a familiar story. It would appear that if you should ever find yourself in dire financial straits, then the best way to bolster your withering bank account would be to make (or star in) an adult film. This incarnation is not really different from the likes of Zak and Miri Make a Porno or Barely Legal, except that we have a cast of fifty-somethings that are hoping this journey of self-discovery will include video footage of a nubile co-ed doing some discovery of her own self. Not a particularly bad film, it does feature some nice comic turns from Joe Pantoliano, William Fichtner, Ted Danson, and, of course, Jeff Bridges. Our man Lebowski is a down-on-his-luck divorced father. Wanting to prove that he is just as capable of providing for his pre-teen son as the boy's new stepfather, he enlists his friends (small-town folk who are known to join him on his schemes du jour) to make a porno, sell it, and reap the benefits of being a successful filmmaker. Easy? Well, not if you want a plot for this movie! The humor is somewhat contrived, and the sex scenes are a bit awkward (seeing Ted Danson's bare ass is enough to keep you away from solid foods for a week), but the movie does have heart. And that must count for something.
15.) AMERICAN CRIME
To be honest, I'm not really sure what this movie is about. This is one of the most slapdash attempts at storytelling since Hulk Hogan lost his championship because there was a fake referee. The plot (as far as I could gather) centered around employees at a local news station who were following the abductions and murders of women who were stalked before meeting their demise. The young reporter who is covering the story finds herself also being stalked prior to her own disappearance! A syndicated TV show entitled "American Crime" begins to follow this story as it has now developed into this odd little meta-world. The host of the show comes to this small town hoping to offer support, but finds that his methods are not appreciated. How it got there to the ending (SPOILER ALERT) where we find that the syndicated host is actually the killer is quite beyond me. The story is ludicrous, and everyone associated with it should be prepared to kiss their careers goodbye. Cary Elwes plays the host in the most non-sensical attempt at character idiosyncracies ever captured on celluloid. His British accent is attrociocious (and he's from ENGLAND!!) He sounds like he's auditioning for a low-budget Dickens remake. Cary, the next time your agent requests that you read for a film of this schlock, please do not answer "As you wish".
16.) AMERICAN CRUDE
Perhaps I was several tankards into a good (read terrible) box of wine, but this movie was utterly unwatchable. It started off as a morality tale told by an idiot (played with grace and smarm by Ron Livingston), but somehow rambled into a convoluted heist-caper-comedy-of-errors-crapfest of biblical proportions. Any movie featuring Rob Schneider as the dramatic foil is not starting off well. Michael Clarke Duncan and Jennifer Esposito should both rush to the nearest confessional and request a serious pennance for their ludicrous turn as lovers on the lam. Missi Pyle plays a transsexual, what else can I say?
17.) AMERICAN HISTORY X
I'm sure you're probably wondering how a sensitive intellectual like me has overlooked this movie for so long. It has been recommended for years, but I put it aside for reasons that now seem trite and petty. I owe a serious apology to everyone who ever told me that I should see this movie. I regret missing it, and I am now thankful that I have experienced what can only be described as "powerful". The message is there, but the fuzziness of an afterschool special is thankfully missing. Edward Norton gives the performance of a lifetime. I'm not going to ramble or gush on this one, but I will heavily encourage those of you looking for something potent to see to put this one in immediately.
18.) AMISTAD
This was a good movie. It had just enough of the hollywood gloss to give it the requisite scope, but there was a true honesty that this historical drama carried that really made it watchable. Based on historical events, this movie (another one that falls into that category of movies that I really should have seen prior to this experiment) tells the harrowing story of the Africans who rose up against their slave captors and fought for their own freedom and the trial that ensued. I was impressed. While Matthew McConaughey really should stick to the cupcake films he's best known for, he did an admirable job as the defending attorney. Djimon Honsou is always impressive as his figure commands your attention when he walks into frame. This one bears a resonance that was refreshing without being too quaint or self-serving. The montage of events that transpired from the Africans' enslavement all the way to their mutiny is nothing short of horrific, but moving. The best actors know how to tell a story with their eyes. Djimon Honsou spun hours of fables without saying a single word of English.
I am still promising to keep these posts up-to-date. I know I have reels to watch before I sleep, but I am feeling confident so far. I have just reached the "50" mark in viewing. 10% down. Much more to go. In the meantime, I think I will enjoy the clouds smiling at me as I take this show outside.
Cheers!
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